Dear Deidre: Wife claims controlling husband led her to having sex with his best mate

She claims her husband’s controlling behaviour pushed her into the arms of his sexy best mate. Now she doesn’t know who she wants to be with.

Dear Deidre: My husband’s controlling behaviour pushed me into the arms of his sexy best mate.

Now I don’t know who I want to be with.

We have been having problems in our marriage for the past couple of years.

He is 52 and I am 43. We used to have a fantastic relationship until he had a minor heart attack two years ago.

He changed after that and now he hates me going out on my own. When I do, he doesn’t speak to me for days.

His best friend got divorced last year and now lives with his elderly father in the next village. He is 49.

Wife claims her husband’s controlling behaviour pushed her into the arms of his sexy best mate. Picture: iStock

We started socialising sometimes and one night last year I had a lot to drink and we ended up kissing, out of sight of my husband and his dad.

We then met a few times when my husband was at work. It progressed to us having steamy sex and I finally felt liberated.

We managed to see one another occasionally during lockdown.

After lockdown lifted, my husband went to visit his parents in Scotland for a fortnight.

Our daughter had just had her first baby so I stayed home.

His friend came over every day and we had a wonderful time.

He wants me to leave my husband and for us to move away together but I don’t think I could abandon my daughter and grandson.

The sneaking around progressed into steamy sex and she said she ‘finally felt liberated’. Picture: iStock

My husband has started planning our 25th wedding anniversary celebration for next year but I don’t even know if I want to be with him any longer.

I am so unhappy, though I feel I should make it work with him for the family’s sake.

He is a great dad and a good and decent man. I just can’t think straight. His mate is on my mind 24/7.

He is upbeat and positive about the future whereas my husband can get very down and moody, though he never used to be before his heart attack.

He has pushed me away with his attitude. I can’t imagine this is how our lives will be forever and I just want to feel free.

Wife says, ‘I just want to feel free,’ as she cheats on her husband of 25 years. Picture: iStock

Deidre says: Your husband’s controlling behaviour doesn’t excuse you cheating but feeling liberated after years of being restrained would feel like a much-needed tonic.

Writing off your marriage would come at a price – your family would never see you the same way again.

However, you shouldn’t sacrifice all hopes of happiness for their sakes.

Tell your lover you aren’t going to see him while you resolve your issues with your husband one way or the other.

He is still the same decent man he’s always been but his attitude is making you miserable.

You are not doing him any favours by not confronting him about it.

He has recovered physically from his heart attack but may now be suffering with depression.

He needs to hear how you feel and be willing to make changes. Encourage him to see his doctor.

This article originally appeared on The Sun and was reproduced here with permission