Scientists find the secret to lasting love isn't just sex and having good communication

IT'S a question posed by couples for centuries - how to make love last. But if you think it's about sex and communication, think again. The secret is much simpler.

Making relationships last isn't just about romance. Picture: Getty Images

IT'S a question posed by couples for centuries - how to find love and make it last.

But if you think it's all down to sex and good communication think again.

Scientists have found while both can have a big influence on a happy relationship, other factors such as knowing your partner's favourite pizza topping and being employed and able to support yourself also matter.

In an internet-based study of 2201 participants, scientists tested seven relationship competencies including communication, conflict resolution, sex or romance, stress management, life skills, knowledge of partners and self-management.

The couples, who were referred by couples counsellors, were asked to rate the qualities they thought were vital to keeping a relationship healthy and happy.

They were then asked questions that tested their competency in these areas and were asked how satisfied they were in their relationships.

Researchers then correlated each partner's strength and weaknesses in each area with their relationship satisfaction.

The study, cited in Time Magazine, also showed couples who communicated the best reported having the most satisfied relationships.

There's more to love than just kissing - and Ryan Gosling. Picture: New Line Cinema

But knowledge of your partner, which included knowing their favourite pizza toppings as well as their future plans, and life skills, such as holding down a job, were the next biggest factors couples rated as important to maintaining a satisfied and happy relationship.

Perhaps surprisingly, it's men who need to work the hardest when it comes to knowing their partner.

According to the study's lead author Robert Epstein men scored the lowest in this area and suggested they write simple information about their partners down.

The professor of psychology at the University of the South Pacific also added knowing important issues such as whether your partner wanted children was also vital.

Researchers found external factors and life skills, including work, could affect a relationship but knowing how to communicate those issues was the key to helping make a relationship last and keeping couples more satisfied.

Senior Manager with Relationships Australia NSW, Anita Vosper, agreed knowing your partner well and knowing how to make them feel special was important to maintaining a happy and satisfying relationship.

"It's about knowing how to make your partner feel special, so if that means knowing their favourite pizza toppings then so be it," she said.

Ms Voss also stressed the importance of respectful and open communication which was free of criticism and contempt.

She added being self-reflective and being independent also helped build a more satisfying and lasting relationship.

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