Response to Abbie Chatfield’s new relationship exposes an old problem

Abbie Chatfield’s relationship hard launch has exposed an issue that women have been dealing with for years.

OPINION

In a bizarre twist of events, men are being defined by the women they are dating, and everyone’s upset about it.

After months of teasing, Abbie Chatfield finally went Instagram official with her boyfriend Adam Hyde, one-half of the successful Aussie band Peking Duk.

Shortly afterwards, a TikTok blew up because the creator referred to Adam not by his successful music career, where he is an ARIA-winning artist, but as Abbie’s boyfriend.

“When you unknowingly invite Abbie Chatfield’s new boyfriend into your work to unclog the juicer six months ago,” the TikToker said.

People were upset.

“Poor bloke spent years building a career in the music industry only to be known as Abbie Chatfield’s boyfriend,” one complained.

Someone else claimed he was more “famous than Abbie”, and another wrote that the caption completely “minimised” Adam’s successful career.

Abbie hard-launched her relationship. Picture: Instagram/AbbieChatfield

She's a hugely successful influencer. Picture: Instagram/AbbieChatfield

Welcome to being a woman. It sucks, right?

Pop singer Sabrina Carpenter has recently cast her boyfriend, acclaimed Irish actor Barry Keoghan, in her music video for Please Please Please.

Interestingly, the comments also claimed it was a “power move” by Sabrina, and someone else joked it must be a “bring your boyfriend to work day”.

It’s an interesting perspective.

Would it be seen as a power move if a man got his girlfriend to star in his music video? I reckon it’d be seen as a romantic gesture, instead.

She’s a successful pop singer. Picture: Vivien Killilea/Getty Images

Barry in her music video. Picture: sabrinacarpenter/Instagram

It’s wild that the internet has generated so much anger at the idea of Abbie’s boyfriend being defined by their relationship when it is a normal experience for most famous women, and no one cares much.

Don’t believe me?

Fair enough.

Actor Sophie Turner recently spoke about the phenomenon.

She was previously married to Jonas Brother Joe Jonas, and she revealed she didn’t like how she was labelled by outsiders during their four-year marriage.

“There was a lot of attention on the three brothers, and the wives. Well, we were always called the wives, and I hated that,” she told British Vogue.

Sophie was on Game Of Thrones. Picture: Instagram/SophieTurner

Sophie and Joe were married for four years. Picture: Instagram/SophieTurner

She called it a “plus one feeling” that had nothing to do with her husband and everything to do with the world.

“In no way did he make me feel that. It was just that the perception of us was as the groupies in the band,” she said.

It’s wild when you consider that Sophie married Joe in 2019, and at that time, his career was in a post-Disney channel slump, and hers was on fire.

She’d wrapped the incredibly successful show, Game Of Thrones, and arguably, their relationship had Joe go from cringe Disney cast-off to cool millennial.

Still, she was the one called the ‘wife’, and he got to continue being Joe.

None of this is to say that Adam being called Abbie’s boyfriend is progress because who wants to be defined by their partner?

But... it does go to show we barely acknowledge it when it comes to women and when it comes to men, we are outraged.

It shouldn’t take a man’s experience to finally highlight a woman’s one.