Natasha Stott Despoja: Brutal truth Australia needs to face about domestic violence

It’s an issue that’s often trivialised, considered a private matter or just blatantly excused. But former senator Natasha Stott Despoja says enough is enough.

Expectations on women to stay at home, cook, clean and look after the children continue to be a driver behind domestic violence, former senator Natasha Stott Despoja says.

As coronavirus continues to put families under financial pressure, research shows existing inequalities for women are worse than ever.

Our Watch is the nation’s leader in primary prevention of violence against women and their children.

Its chair, Ms Stott Despoja, told the National Press Club on Wednesday that the pandemic was an opportunity to stop one woman being killed every week at the hands of her partner.

“Australia, I know that many of you are sickened by the stories and statistics, the body count, the slaughter in the suburbs, and I know we cannot go on like this,” she said.

“The best way to end the violence is to stop it from happening in the first place.”

Ms Stott Despoja said one in five young men believed domestic violence was a normal reaction to “day-to-day stress and frustration”.

She said although there was no single cause of violence against women, research showed the main drivers were the trivialisation of violence towards women, men’s control or limits to a woman’s independence, adherence to rigid gender roles and disrespect towards women.

Natasha Stott Despoja says violence against women is often condoned or trivialised in Australia. Picture: Gary Ramage/NCA NewsWire

“This is a society where the underlying conditions of gender inequality mean that violence against women is often condoned, trivialised, may be considered a private matter,” Ms Stott Despoja said.

“Where sexism or boys being boys is excused, and where there is an assumption that men are or should be in control.”

She said there was a misconception that drugs, alcohol, mental health or poverty were to blame, but evidence proved that although those factors could intensify the violence, it was not the cause.

She also called out Bachelor in Paradise reality TV star Ciarran Stott for saying “if you want to date my ex-girlfriend, you have to ask me”.

“You cannot underestimate the potential message that sends to young people and risks endorsing outdated stereotypes,” she said.

A Monash University study in April found domestic violence had spiked since the pandemic began.

Ms Stott Despoja also quoted increased reports of financial abuse, adding the pandemic had affected women and men differently.

“It has highlighted and exacerbated inequalities in the home and in the workforce as women tend to make up the majority of those who are homeschooling. They are carers, they are healthcare workers and home teachers,” she said.

Ms Stott Despoja said gender equality could be promoted through economic stimulus measures for female-dominated industries, along with universal childcare and ensuring women who are escaping domestic violence are not forced to use their superannuation to get by.