Wedding shaming groups are the nasty new trend taking over Facebook
This real-life Mean Girls gang take pleasure in deliberately slamming strangers’ weddings — and they’re showing no signs of slowing down.
While most of us use Facebook to gloat about our fancy vaycays and watch videos of cute puppies, the social media platform has recently become host to one of the harshest pastimes around — wedding shaming.
Groups of people huddle together in private digital dungeons to blast, roast and tear apart other people’s special days in the name of fun — and it’s absolutely brutal.
You can critique dresses, decorations and of course, dramatic brides who are kindly dubbed “bridezillas”.
There’s even categories for your posts where you can file your rant under popular tags such as “cringe”, “tacky family” and “f***ing yikes”.
The biggest group to date is ‘that’s it, I’m wedding shaming’ which boasts just over 38,000 members worldwide.
Interestingly, it’s run mostly by Aussies, but more on that later.
Getting inside one of these wedding hating lairs isn’t easy. You have to answer a series of questions designed to keep the ‘haters’ within safe from judgment.
After sharing your most “shameful” wedding experience you’re allowed to join the festivities. That’s if you haven’t been rejected by one of the protective mods for not being savage enough in your entrance quiz.
Once inside you’ll quickly learn this is no place for brides with Disney princess plans for their big day.
Normal behaviour involves uploading photos taken at weddings and letting loose, sharing “bridezilla” stories and mocking everything from table settings to wedding themes — nothing and absolutely no one is safe.
Just last week, the group collectively slammed a vegan bride who had revealed on Facebook she was banning her meat-eating relatives because they’re “murderers”.
“As a vegan, this is messed up,” a member wrote. “Being blasted by people in the comments are telling her how wrong this is, and that you can’t go around calling your family murderers!”
The post ruffled feathers, receiving 271 comments, most of which slammed the bride for her views.
“She is out of her mind. I’d be happy to cut her off of my life if I were the family,” another said.
“I totally understand serving vegan food exclusively, that makes sense … but banning people and calling them murderers is just ridiculous.”
Many called her decision “unreasonable”, saying even meat-eating family would respect and most likely enjoy the vegan offerings.
But that is far from one of the most controversial discussions happening here.
You might remember the “bridezilla” who demanded her guests contribute $1500 for her “dream wedding”.
Unsurprisingly none of them would cough up and the furious bride cancelled her big day.
Though the story went viral, being shared on Twitter, Reddit and Facebook, it originated in this group and was leaked online.
The whole lore caused a spike in popularity in the group, which jumped from 500 members to 30,000 in a matter of days, 10 Daily reported at the time.
Turns out there’s a lot of people out there who like insulting other people’s big days.
And while you’re freely encouraged to share your true feelings, there are rules. Strict ones.
Their most important rule is to only wedding shame, a post pinned at the top of the group reads.
Members are rightly banned from racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia and transphobia on the page.
There’s also no body shaming allowed and no identifying anyone.
It’s common to see brides and grooms with their faces scribbled out to protect them from being recognised.
But does this really make the savage shaming acceptable?
You’re also not allowed to share the topics talked about outside of the group. If you do, you’re punished with an immediate ban — something I experienced recently when I wrote about a bride who was slammed for sending an “aggressive” save-the-date to her guests. Oops.
Even with their no rules, there’s no denying the group is a playground for hate.
“There’s something about weddings, whether you’re invited or not, that just brings out the worst in people,” one of the moderators told Wired recently.
Luna is a 23-year-old Australian who has been moderating the page for six months, alongside nine other volunteer admins, the report said.
Since going viral — with stars like Chrissy Teigen even sharing a post from the group with her 10 million followers last year — the group has faced some criticism for their bashing.
Some have branded the hobby “pure nasty” while others say it leaves them feeling incredibly sad.
I was in a wedding shaming group but Bel made me quit because I was getting too sensitive about how nasty people are to each others' weddings
— Kara K Ara 🦇 (@sosovalid) September 24, 2018
Lol I joined a wedding shaming FB group thinking it’d be mostly cathartic shaming of entitled ppl but it’s mostly just people making fun of other people’s tastes/photos and now I’m sad :(
— สะบรีนะ the teenage witch 💜 (@sabrina) January 30, 2019
But the group’s operators are unapologetic for their Mean Girls-inspired antics.
“I honestly don’t care what anyone else thinks about our group,” Jacinta — another 23-year-old admin worker from Australia who moderates the page — told Wired. “It’s a place where people can vent about their wild wedding experiences.”
The group isn’t alone, with a ring shaming group emerging on Facebook recently called ‘that’s it, I’m ring shaming’.
In a similar vein, people poke fun at rings and designs, all in the name of venting.
In November, a bride-to-be went too far for criticising an engagement ring she’d found in her partner’s sock drawer and branding it “basic” before he’d even popped the question. Talk about brutal.
However, these wedding shaming groups show no sign of slowing down.
Every day hundreds of posts are approved and appear online.
Despite their popularity, I can’t help but wonder if we’re all missing the point here.
Weddings aren’t meant to be about colour schemes, designer dresses and Insta-worthy venues.
It’s meant to be about the love and future of two people who are committed to spending their lives together.
To be clear, my foray into the dark world of wedding shaming was purely to investigate, I never shamed and simply watched from the sidelines as others bashed and berated.
But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss the daily dose of drama.
Continue the conversation @RebekahScanlan | rebekah.scanlan@news.com.au
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