These are the weirdest pictures you’ll see today

COUPLES are risking their lives for an artist to cover them in lube and vacuum-pack them together, in the weirdest wedding photos we’ve ever seen.

Couples are risking their lives to be vacuum packed and photographed for unique pictures.

THERE is a Japanese photographer vacuum packing couples for art — and we really need to talk about it.

That’s right.

Space saver bags with humans inside, sometimes nude, sometimes with their bike and sometimes dressed as gangsters (of course), with all of the air sucked out of them.

HOLY CLAUSTROPHOBIA BATMAN!

Haruhiko Kawaguchi has been cling-wrapping lovers for some time now. He allows the couples to make their own fashion choices pre deoxygenation, because he wants them to be themselves, before they go into a potentially life threatening situation for the sake of a kick-a*se Christmas card.

Some go for a casual look, some theme dress and some choose to go nude with their hands strategically placed on their t*ts and tackles. Look I’m no art expert however that seems a wise choice, I don’t imagine that there’s even a modicum of beauty in a dehydrated skin sausage. Or would it look more like a veiny half-sucked prawn? A fried smashed up Twistie?

Sorry, I’ll move on.

How does this all work exactly? I’m glad you asked. The couples get into the vacuum pack and decide how they want to be positioned. Some go for the full up-side-down, foetal position, nude, bum-to-nose pose. Some choose to be trapped with their most prized possessions and some, well, look ... some even I can’t understand. Nana Rambo is blowing my mind right here right now:

After they’re in place Haruhiko gets a regular old vacuum cleaner from his laundry and sucks ALL OF THE AIR out. He then has exactly ten seconds to get the shot, because you know, PEOPLE NEED TO BREATHE TO STAY ALIVE! He fires off two shots and also has an assistant on side to cut the bags open should the subjects become distressed at any time. The entire shoot apparently takes two hours.

I’m sorry, I literally cannot think of anything more terrifying than this situation. I become faint with panic if I get my head stuck in a jumper when I’m getting undressed. This idea sits somewhere between the fifth and sixth circles of hell for me personally.

Perhaps this could become a new trend in wedding photos? Everyone would certainly look young and fresh ... And slightly like their faces are melting off but they’d be a talking point when guests come over!

He has quite a lovely reason for taking these shots, he wants couples to transcend togetherness, to draw as close together as physically possible, so much so they appear to be one single being.

I suppose if you go back and look at them with that in mind, they become strangely peaceful.

Now if you’ll excuse me I’m just going to go outside to be near air, lots of air, all the air.

Em Rusciano is a comedian, writer, singer and regular news.com.au columnist. You can follow her on Facebook.