Phoebe Burgess ‘stopped getting invited’ to things after divorce from Sam Burgess

Phoebe Burgess has opened up about her biggest surprise following her divorce – sharing that the invitations “dried up”.

Phoebe Burgess has opened up about her biggest surprise following her divorce from former Rabbitohs star Sam Burgess – admitting she “stopped getting invited” to things.

She and Burgess married in 2015, first separating in late 2018 before reconciling in early 2019. They split for good in October of that year and later divorced. They share two children – daughter Poppy, 6, and son Billy, 4.

In a new episode of her podcast, Under The Gloss, the influencer shared that she felt “a lot more lonely in a relationship that wasn’t going to continue” than she did outside of it.

“A lot of things took me by surprise,” Burgess told Sky News journalist and fellow single mum Jacinta Tynan.

“I was a lot more lonely in a relationship that wasn’t going to continue, and when I suddenly drifted out on my own, all of these people – I was suddenly surrounded. The ones who disappeared, disappeared – the ones who weren’t there for the right reasons. I haven’t spoken to them since.

“But it galvanised strong relationships. And I wonder when we’re in a relationship, and we’re struggling or we’re drowning or we’re having a difficult time with identity and motherhood – are we more isolated?”

Sam and Phoebe Burgess on their wedding day in 2015. Picture: Supplied

The pair, who have two children, split in October 2019. Picture: Instagram

Burgess described the “village” she suddenly had as both a “comfort” and a “surprise”.

“I thought it would be the other way. And I guess looking back now I’m able to say, sitting in this chair, a lot of people find it really difficult to hear that I am much happier now with the challenges I face as a single mum than I was with the other challenges I was facing. I’m more me than ever.”

‘I am much happier now with the challenges I face as a single mum than I was with the other challenges I was facing.’ Picture: Instagram

But she did admit the one thing she didn’t see coming “socially”.

“Single mums don’t get invited anywhere,” Burgess said.

“I’ve got a school community … my school is my co-parent. The school is a very safe and happy place for us. I get to say hi to everyone as we’re walking in and we talk about our kids … but when it comes to the, ‘Oh we’re off camping,’ or, ‘We’re booking Noosa for the week,’ or, you know, ‘We’re off to Aspen again’ – I’m mocking myself – but I stopped getting invited. And it was like I was missing something.”

To which Tynan said: “This is a universal theme of single motherhood.”

“Because I interviewed so many for the book and every single one of them, without fail – and now Phoebe Burgess is the same – they all talked about the invitations drying up. Let’s just laugh about it, because it’s ridiculous,” she said.

“You’re still the same person.”

‘I stopped getting invited,’ Burgess said. Picture: Instagram

‘[It’s] the thing I didn’t see coming socially.’ Picture: Instagram

During the first part of her chat with Tynan last week, Burgess broke down in tears over the anxiety she felt when her marriage ended – describing her children as her “life raft”.

“When you look at the practical, your four-year-old and your six-year-old need you to get up off the floor because they need breakfast and they need uniforms and they need to get to school,” she said.

“And I think preserving the innocence and simplicity of their little routines, their little expectations, and what they know ‘Mummy provides for me’ – that was my life raft.

“That was the only solid thing that I held on to. That was it. They needed me. So I had to still be here, I had to still get up and do it all over again – and everything else is just noise.”