Jealous husband theory is straight-up ‘garbage’

A “nonsense” new study that made an outrageous claim about modern relationships has been slammed by an Aussie expert.

OPINION

Another day, another headline reminding us how far we have to go.

A study published in the Economic Journallate last year claims that a wife earning more than her husband increases the likelihood of his unhappiness.

It shows us that even in relatively egalitarian societies, traditional gender roles are still shaping our relationships, and often in harmful ways. While the study was based in Sweden, it points to a deeper, systemic issue.

This BS reinforcement of systemic sexism has to stop. The idea that a woman’s prosperity will destabilise a marriage or threaten a man’s mental wellbeing is insulting and quite frankly, dangerous. It reinforces the idea that men can’t evolve beyond outdated gender roles, and suggests women should dim their light to keep peace.

This kind of rhetoric also focuses exclusively on husband-wife dynamics, reinforcing a heteronormative framework, ignoring or erasing the experiences of same-sex couples or non-traditional partnerships.

The real problem isn’t women’s success, it’s outdated gender roles

These kinds of studies need to be called out for what they are: Regressive nonsense veiled in academic lingo.

They reinforce a toxic narrative that has been around for far too long. At the heart of it all are deeply ingrained and outdated beliefs about what men and women should be. Men are told their worth is tied to their wallets and women are told to reach for the stars (providing their success doesn’t upset the trad status quo), while non-heronormative dynamics are ignored completely. They reinforce a dangerous cultural narrative that discourages women from stepping into their power.

The jealous husband theory has been brands 'BS'. Picture: iStock

A decade-long study conducted by the Australian National University showed that women who out-earn their male partners or spouses are 35 per cent more likely to experience domestic violence. This is a horrendous statistic. Financial independence should empower women – provide them with more security, not put them at greater risk.

This isn’t just a women’s issue; it’s a systemic problem that places success and financial independence in direct opposition to harmony in relationships.

And the fallout? Women are left to grapple with an impossible choice: Shrink themselves to maintain harmony or face the societal repercussions of outshining their partners.

Neither option is acceptable.

This narrative hurts everyone. The belief that a man’s worth is determined by his paycheck is fuelling mental health issues, stress and even relationship breakdowns. All of which are byproducts of unrealistic expectations and a harmful script about masculinity and what it means to be a “provider”, a “supporter” or simply, a partner.

A new theory about jealous husbands is ‘dangerous’. Picture: iStock

We all deserve financial freedom

Women stepping into their power is not a threat. Success, regardless of who achieves it or in what type of relationship, is not a threat. No one should ever have to shrink themselves, decline opportunities or underprice their work to accommodate someone else’s feelings. Success is an opportunity for stronger partnerships, families and communities. If this concept rattles your worldview, good. Growth always starts with discomfort.

Financial empowerment isn’t just about income. It’s about independence, safety and equality. It gives people the freedom to leave toxic situations, create opportunities for themselves and their families and build wealth on their own terms.

Strong partnerships are built on mutual respect and shared responsibilities. If one person in a marriage or partnership earns more, it doesn’t diminish the power of the other, it uplifts them both.

Financial empowerment isn’t just about income. It’s about independence, safety and equality. Picture: iStock

How do we rewrite this narrative?

Dismantling these harmful perceptions won’t happen overnight, but here’s where we can start:

1. Teach that self-worth isn’t tied to income

This belief begins early. Boys and girls are told different stories about what success looks like, while non-binary or queer kids are often excluded from these narratives altogether.

We need to shift this narrative by showing children that their worth is inherent and independent of their earning power. Schools, media and families can showcase diverse models of partnership, teaching kids that relationships thrive on respect and collaboration, rather than competition.

2. Promote partnerships, not power struggles

Too often, income disparity is framed as a competition instead of a neutral fact. This mindset poisons relationships, turning differences into sources of conflict rather than strength.

Strong partnerships focus on shared goals, open communication and valuing each person’s unique contributions – financial or otherwise. This requires ongoing conversations between partners about their values, priorities and dreams.

It’s time to normalise relationships where both individuals can thrive without feeling overshadowed.

Shaye Thyer. Picture: Supplied

3. Demand systemic change

The burden of dismantling these harmful narratives shouldn’t fall solely on individuals. Workplaces, industries and policymakers have a responsibility to create environments where equality can flourish.

Employers need to address the gender pay gap, implement parental leave policies that support families and foster workplace cultures that value diverse leadership. Leaders need to recognise that financial independence isn’t a zero-sum game, supporting all individuals, regardless of gender or relationship type, in achieving it.

Let’s change the conversation

Cultural change starts with how we talk about success and relationships. When we hear narratives framing a woman’s achievements as a threat, we need to push back. When contributions within any type of partnership, be it financial, emotional, or domestic, are treated as unequal or one-sided, we need to ask why.

Every conversation that normalises shared success and equal partnerships chips away at these harmful perceptions. So let’s keep having them – louder and more often.

Shaye Thyer is the founder and Consulting CFO at Pallas, where she specialises in tackling three key challenges for women in business: reducing mental load through AI and delegation, building ultra-efficient operational systems, and pricing for their worth.