How illicit sex can save a marriage

MARRIED couples should be like the French and have extramarital sex to save their relationships, says sociologist  and author.

hakim

HAVE an affair and save your marriage.

That's the controversial advice being dished out to couples whose relationships are in danger of going stale.

British sociologist and author Catherine Hakim, in her book The New Rules of Marriage: Internet Dating, Playfairs and Erotic Power, says a "sour" view of cheating has weakened family life by prompting couples to divorce.

Hakim says that rather than having an unforgiving opinion on affairs, Britons should learn to be more liberal with their lovers, like the French.

The author said that a secret romance should be on a par with having dinner with your long-term partner.

Hakim says the French are "masters of seduction", have a "philosophical approach to adultery" and allow their partners off the marital leash.

And she believes successful affairs are possible, where neither partner is hurt.

Hakim, who works for think tank Centre for Policy Studies and is a former London School of Economics lecturer, says successful affairs are possible where neither partner is hurt.

"I am not saying that everybody should do it, and most people do not have affairs," Hakim told the BBC.

"The key point is that we need to be more tolerant of them. Sometime they can ruin marriages, but if you take the view that most of them blow over and a good marriage is still a good marriage, we should be a bit more laid back about them like the French, Italians and Spanish."

"The temptation is always there for everyone. Total discretion is the absolute rule, the other party should never find out," she said.

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