7 ways to prepare for marriage

PSYCHOLOGIST Cynthia Hickman’s advice on making the most of your big day.

Britain Royal Wedding

PSYCHOLOGIST Cynthia HickmanÂ’s advice on making the most of your big day.

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Monday

Love is a way of being that takes consistent work to master. If you are still swept up in the emotional side of love you may not have had time to step back and work out if this person is really right for you. A pre-marriage course can help.

Tuesday

Remember to have a marriage, not just a wedding. They are two different things. Too often all the focus is given to the external event details, and the reason for the wedding – the pledge of love between two people – is completely lost.

Wednesday

Think about what you are committing to. Marriage used to be about having children or a lifetime union. These days it means different things to different people. What counts is that you take the time to decide what marriage means to you.

Thursday

Each write down what is important to you in a relationship and then spend a weekend away to share each other’s ideas. This helps establish what marriage means to you both and creates the foundation for a life together.

Friday

The wedding ceremony will symbolise the love you are committing to. Don’t be ruled by tradition. Make it your own. Write down key words that sum up the essence of the marriage, then think of ways to symbolise them at your wedding. Allow for fun!

Saturday

Get emotional support 
in the lead-up to the marriage. Have people around you to whom you can speak honestly. Allow for doubts – don’t push them away. It is better to address them. Make sure this really is right for you.

Sunday

Take the time to remind yourself that marriage is not about being “in love”. Be prepared for the in-love phase to pass – it doesn’t mean anything is wrong. It just means you have to get down to the business of really learning how to love.
 

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