Samuel Johnson’s extraordinary family: ‘The three key women in my life have left me’

DESPITE his incredible career success, Samuel Johnson’s personal life has been enveloped by incredible tragedy, with many of his loved ones choosing to end their lives.

WHEN actor Samuel Johnson bounded up on stage to accept his Gold Logie on Sunday, beaming from ear to ear, the constant tragedy that has enveloped his entire life was briefly forgotten.

His toothy grin was everywhere this week, as well-wishers congratulated him on his win.

But this incredible career high comes after decades of personal hardship, mental health battles and watching those closest to him wrestle with their darkest demons.

By Johnson’s own admission, the “three key women” in his life have “left him”.

His mother took her own life just before his first birthday and in 2006 he watched both a close female friend and his ex-girlfriend die by suicide, the latter immediately following their breakup.

Now, his older sister Connie, 40, a mother of two young boys, has announced she is stopping treatment for the cancer she has been battling for decades.

Johnson’s extraordinary bond with the women in his life was thrust into the spotlight at the Logies, as he dedicated his Logie award to Connie and encouraged Australians to donate towards cancer research.

“On behalf of my beautiful sister Connie, who I dedicate this award to, I would like to urge any family watching affected by cancer or not to join us in our quest to keep our families safe from the terrors of cancer,” Johnson said, accepting the award for his portrayal of Molly Meldrum. “I love you, Connie, I love you.”

Samuel Johnson with his Gold Logie. Picture: Tracey Nearm/AAP

Samuel Johnson being presented with a gold hat from Molly Meldrum at the 2017 Logie awards.

Despite wave after wave of horrific loss, Johnson remains oddly philosophical about suicide and has always been open about discussing his own mental health.

“A lot of people don’t agree with me on this one, but you’ve kind of just got to respect their right to live or die,” he told Fairfax in 2007.

“Not everyone’s cut out for life. It’s not like we choose to be a part of it. We don’t choose to be born, so we should at least have the right to choose whether we want life or not,” he said.

Lainie Woodlands, Johnson’s ex-girlfriend, took her own life in February 2006, on the same night Johnson ended their relationship.

“I was probably already not doing that well but when my girlfriend [killed] herself, the night that I left her, shit got pretty heavy,” he said.

“I’m not angry with her at all. I’m just really sad. There’s a big gaping hole in my life that she used to occupy ... and I miss her a lot.”

Samuel and Connie, before she started her latest round of cancer treatment.

Sam and Connie in 2014.

In a 2008 episode of the ABC’s Australian Story, he opened up the impact those suicides had on his state of mind.

“The three key women in my life have left me. It floored me. You know, I mean, it’s still floored me. It’s just ruined me emotionally and I’m very sad now,” he said.

“[Lainie] was a brash kind of young girl that, ah, that wooed me — just one of the most lovely girls you could ever meet. You know, she was so happy and so kind of boisterous and fun-loving and, you know, full of smiles. You know, a really sweet girl with a massive heart.

“A number of people reacted really badly to [her suicide]. There were people that were insensitive to the point that they’d come up and say, ‘Why? You must know why. Tell me why it happened.’ If I could answer that maybe it wouldn’t have happened.

“And there were others that just avoided it. The big surprise for me was my dad. He just didn’t seem to know what to do. [Johnson’s mother killed herself quite soon after his father left her as a baby]. The one person that I expected to usher me through that period would have been him but he was noticeably absent for some reason. God knows why.”

Samuel Johnson's road a unicycle around Australia and raised $1.5m for cancer research. Picture: Sarah Matray

Johnson has long battled with mental illness himself and in October 2007 plead guilty to assaulting a man at a Sydney casino.

“I was going downhill pretty quickly and I was certainly going through a very self-destructive kind of phase. We all want to mask the pain somehow in some way and, you know, I had my issues there and I think I already had a problem with alcohol before it happened but it certainly accelerated my usage.

“I got involved in an incident I should never have gotten involved in. I should have walked away and I didn’t.”

He says he will “live forever” with the guilt of Lainie’s death, which he had “no warning about”.

“You know, if any of us could have picked it we would have done our all to try and prevent it,” he said.

“When someone takes their own life, you know, you live forever without any of those questions getting answered, like why. And you have to come to terms with the fact that there’s no single answer.

Samuel Johnson's sister Connie watches as Samuel receives his Gold Logie.

“I have to respect the decision they make. You know, I don’t think it’s weak or gutless, you know, to leave your loved ones. I think it’s very hard to do that. That’s just how I feel. There’s a lot of other people that feel differently about it.

“Ultimately I’ve just got to accept what’s happened and realise that I’ll never get the answers to those questions. Life’s full of questions that you don’t get answered so, you know, let them be among them.”

But despite the hardships, Johnson refuses to see himself as a victim.

“There’s probably nothing I hate more than people that walk around going, woe be me, poor me, look at all this stuff that’s happened to me.

“Get over it, you know. Shit happens to everyone, you know. Everyone loses people they love; everyone fights chronic illness; everyone’s broke at times. Put it into perspective, get on with it.”