Do guys make better best friends?

THERE are girls' girls and there are those - like me - who are, well, not.

clooney w/ theron and fassbender

THERE are girls' girls and there are those - like me - who are, well, not.

Don't get me wrong; I love a rockin' frock and I have a handful of girlie mates I could call at any time to tell my deepest secrets and share my scariest fears. But, on a daily basis, I spend most of my time with guys, not one of whom could be described as a significant other.

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This never struck me as odd until I read yet another interview in which a female celebrity revealed she doesn't trust any woman who doesn't have girlfriends, the inference being that one who hangs out with men is a bit iffy. (Would it be wrong of me to point out that this celeb and her distrustful ilk are usually the ones who engage in public feuds with their BFFs and have a different paramour each week?)

This view isn't uncommon, explains Katia Loisel-Furey, relationship expert and co-author of How to Get the Man You Want. "We're still influenced by gender rules, and they stem from old-fashioned views on men and women when they didn't work together," she says. "Years ago, the only time the sexes came together was to date, marry and reproduce."

It all sounds very 1950s, but you only have to look at TV shows and movies to see that male and female friendships can supposedly only head in one direction - under the covers. Harry and Sally, you still have a lot to answer for.

But times are a-changing. Research into cross-gender friendships reveals it's possible to love without lust. A study of 20 pairs of platonic boy/girl friends by an American university recently concluded they all had a 'friendship attraction' - in other words, a close bond devoid of groping. And in a survey of 1450 members on Match.com, 83 per cent agreed men and women can be just friends.

"Guys get a lot from friendships with women because they're much more nurturing relationships," explains Loisel-Furey. "From a woman's point of view, relationships with men tend to be more light-hearted; men deal with stress using jokes and laughter, rather than getting into the nitty-gritty of life."

I couldn't agree more. Sometimes catching up with the girls and dissecting every text message from a man can be great fun; other times, not so much. There's something to be said for an evening of arguing about footy or the all-time greatest movie insult.

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As with all relationships, opposite-gender friendships come in all shapes and sizes. My best friend is a man. He relishes a verbal stoush and he counterbalances my hermit tendencies by taking me to his favourite bars and introducing me to new friends. I turn to another male pal - who's as handsome and charming as any man you could ever meet - to hash out job dramas and dissect works of alt-country singers; and I start to feel edgy if it's been a while since I've chatted to another, who lives in a different city. The common denominator is these friendships are true and uncomplicated. When these men tell me something, I never have to look for an underlying meaning.

Then there's a bunch of younger guys, my rock'n'roll buddies. This year, we drove to Byron Bay for Bluesfest and bunked down in a too-small house. The deepest conversation we had was about whose turn it was to go to the bottle shop. Raucous, revealing and reasonably smelly, it was the best holiday I've had in ages.

Could any of these friendships go elsewhere? Nah, too messy. Although, says Loisel-Furey, "in one study, well over 50 per cent of men said they initially became friends with a woman because they were attracted to her". Now there's some food for thought.

In the Match.com survey, 94 per cent said it's possible to fall in love with someone who comes into your life as a friend, and 71 per cent hoped their future relationship starts that way. And it makes sense. Who wouldn't want their lover to be their best pal? See, naysayers, I may be on to something.