Tradie reveals the ‘disgusting’ truth about dating in 2023

A Queensland man who recently jumped back into the dating pool has gone viral after revealing the terrifying truth about trying to find a partner in 2023.

A tradie has gone viral after revealing the terrifying truth about dating in 2023.

Queensland man Dylan Barnett has gained a following on TikTok after sharing his “self love and growth” journey, as well as his experience in jumping back into the dating pool.

Speaking to news.com.au, the 27-year-old explained that he was inspired to speak out after he encountered women who had suffered abuse in the past.

While he always knew that domestic and sexual violence was an issue in Australia, Dylan says he did not realise the gravity of the situation and just how many women had been impacted.

“As I began dating again, I struggled to connect and find love due to women having their walls up,” he explained.

“They had been traumatised from some devastating experiences with other men.

“One woman I recently dated had been through a lot of physical and emotional abuse, and I felt the police were not acting on these threats enough.

“I decided to make a video about it but the negative backlash I got was crazy. I even considered deleting the clip due to it.

Dylan was shocked at the negative backlash he received to his video. Picture: Instagram / @dyllbagzzz

“I got so many messages from men with stories of their vile abuse against women, trying to justify why it is okay to hit a woman. They would say it was because she started it the argument.

“I would like men to understand that the future is unfortunately changing and woman are drifting from men. I feel there is a distrust in the community for a woman to even leave the house after dark.

“The video itself was not even about general violence, it was really just my story of hearing women’s experiences after going on first dates. It’s crazy.”

In a recent clip, he shares what he says are the most shocking things he has learnt since starting to go on regular dates again.

“You know what really shocked me being back in the dating world?” he asked his followers.

“Every second woman I’ve met has been physically abused before. Every second woman I’ve met has been sexually abused before.

“And every second woman I’ve met has been on a date where they were expected to do a sexual act and it has resulted in aggression towards them.

Dylan took to TikTok to reveal what he has learnt from dating. Picture: TikTok / @bigdyl07

He said "every second woman" he spoke to had a story. Picture: TikTok / @bigdyl07

“I had no f**king idea that this was going on. This is a failure of most men in the dating world.

“Some of the stuff that I have been told men do and what men write is absolutely disgusting. Coming from a male, I am absolutely appalled at some of the other men’s behaviour.

“I’m not saying this to suck up to women. I’m saying this as a human being and a real man, I don’t condone any of that f**king behaviour whatsoever.

“I think it’s absolutely disgusting.”

Dylan’s video rapidly went viral, racking up over 430,000 views and thousands of comments in a matter of days.

His followers applauded him for calling out that behaviour, with some sharing their own thoughts about the issue.

“It takes a man to call men out on this issue, thank you,” one woman wrote.

“Mate you’re spot on, I have heard the same stories over the last 2 years,” one man said.

“I left every singles group after repeatedly calling out men’s behaviour.”

Dylan was met with negative backlash from other men. Picture: Instagram / @dyllbagzzz

“Women need men who are allies like this,” another posted.

“Thank you for speaking up. The change starts with men like you. Please have this conversation with your male friends.”

Dylan went on to say that after posting the clip, he received a lot of hateful messages from men who told him that what he was saying was not correct.

“I’ve received a lot of messages from men who are saying that women are just playing victim,” he said.

“If you’re someone who disagrees with this, this is what I want you to do. If you’re male, make your Tinder profile into a female.

“You’ll see the types of messages you’ll get and the instant disrespect. I was brought up not to abusive women physically or sexually.

“I’ve received a lot of messages justifying that it is OK to hit and abuse women because they believe women start it more.

“I can’t stand by any accept that. It sucks to hear we can’t protect women anymore.”

He has been applauded by both women and men alike for speaking out. Picture: Instagram / @dyllbagzzz

Frightening statistics

According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, 1 in 4 women (23%) have experienced violence by an intimate partner, compared to 1 in 14 men (7.3%) between the 2021 and 2022 financial year.

1 in 5 women (22%) in Australia have reportedly experienced sexual violence, compared to 1 in 16 men (6.1%), while 1 in 5 women (20%) have also experienced stalking, compared to 1 in 15 men (6.8%).

In terms of dating, the ABS reported that 1 in 11 women experienced violence by a boyfriend, girlfriend, or date (9.3%), compared to 1 in 44 men (2.3%).

Dr Ashleigh Moreland, a neurophysiologist specialising in trauma responses and mind-body approaches to healing, told news.com.au that Dylan’s video highlighted an enormous issue in modern dating.

“Swiping culture on dating apps promotes quick, superficial judgments based on appearance and limited information,” the Melbourne doctor explained.

Dylan said he was shocked that so many women he had met had experienced domestic violence. Picture: iStock

“This can contribute to objectification, where individuals are evaluated primarily on physical attributes rather than their character, leading to potential mistreatment and disrespect.

“Secondly, the ease of swiping and matching can sometimes create a sense of detachment from the reality of human emotions and relationships.

“This detachment might contribute to a lack of empathy, fostering an environment where disrespectful behaviour is more likely to occur, even in real life.

“Thirdly, the casualisation of relationships promoted on these platforms may inadvertently contribute to a culture where individuals are viewed as disposable, with an expectation of sexual entitlement.

“This can lead to a lack of regard for the feelings and wellbeing of others, particularly women.”

Domestic violence is a major issue in Australia. Picture: iStock

Dr Moreland explained why many men would be surprised to learn about what some women go through at the hands of their partners.

“This behaviour absolutely does shock many men, because they themselves wouldn’t treat women that way and it seems incomprehensible that others would,” she said.

“I am someone who does have strong boundaries and I do know the red flags, yet even I experienced these behaviours personally when dating in the past.

“Most shockingly, from men who, from the surface, looked, spoke and portrayed very respectable characters, had respectable careers, and positioned themselves as “good men”.

“It is so important that women, especially single women in the dating scene, have a strong sense of self and know that they’re worthy of respect, can set and uphold strong boundaries, and know what to look for to keep themselves safe.”

According to Australian Femicide Watch’s X, formerly Twitter, page, 70 women have allegedly been killed in Australia so far in 2023.