Threesomes, outrageous encounters and forward dates: Why dating in New York really is like Sex and the City

THREESOMES, outrageous encounters and extremely forward dates: this Aussie discovered a style of dating that’s a lot like Sex and the City.

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THEY say don’t believe everything you watch on the box, but when it comes to dating in New York City, believe me, it really is like Sex and the City.

Whether you’re straight, gay, male, female, bisexual, transgender ... whatever, anyone can find themselves in a situation that Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda would relate to.

Sexcapades, ‘Samantha style’ really do happen and no one bats an eyelid

Take my friend, Karl*, for example. Karl is one of my more fabulous friends who I meet for drinks on a regular basis. He always has some wickedly amusing sex story from his many nights out. He is the gay male version of Samantha without a doubt — I really couldn’t think of a better candidate to fill her shoes.

One of his more outrageous encounters involved a rather well-known VP of a fashion magazine. They hooked up at a club downtown and then went back to his penthouse where the wife was waiting. Turns out they were in an open marriage and so next thing they were all in the bedroom together having wild sex.

The three of them went out a few more times for fancy dinners and dancing like a happily married threesome before they would end up rolling around in bed having sex marathons for hours. However in true Samantha fashion, my friend got bored pretty quick and moved on to his next man of the moment.

Even Samantha could be shocked by the real life sexcapades of New Yorkers.

Be prepared for your date to be extremely forward

When I first moved to New York from Melbourne I went on my first ever Tinder date and it was very nearly my last. I’d been chatting with this Brazilian guy who was studying the science of sleep. He was attractive enough and I thought if anything we’d at least have an interesting conversation. He asked me out for drinks and so I accepted.

The conversation started off innocently enough, ‘what are you doing here, why’d you move, blah blah blah.’ One beer in and he leaned in to kiss me. I pretended it didn’t happen and promptly changed the subject. Another ten minutes later he tried again and at this point I was like ‘dude, we JUST met.’ Then he said this (although he used a different word that starts with ‘C’):

“I can smell your downstairs mix up and it’s intoxicating.” While not exactly the way to get me into bed, perhaps this technique had worked for him in the past. The Charlotte in me came out and it was my cue to leave. It was a while before I was brave enough to meet another Tinder date.

Charlotte wouldn’t stand for that kind of forward behaviour, and neither would Isabel.

Everyone is dating multiple people at once

Triple dipping is common practise in New York. A friend of mine recently told me, “if you aren’t seeing at least three people at once, well you’re doing it wrong. You’re ranked in order of importance and if you aren’t sitting at number one or two well then forget about, you won’t be around for long.”

A girlfriend of mine, (let’s call her Sally) was recently ‘doing the triangle’ however she broke the golden rule: make sure your dates don’t live anywhere near each other. Sally would be meeting Matt for coffee then running to meet Toby to see a movie around the corner and then Sam who she’d arranged to see after Toby, who lived just a few blocks from Matt and would want to meet her at the same cafe she’d just been at a few hours earlier on her first date.

It became more stressful than her job and there were a few close calls. Needless to say she was never caught and is now exclusively dating Sam and completely in love. While not for everyone (Charlotte failed at this miserably), keeping your options open is a good card to play, albeit a little risky.

Writer Isabel Thomson-Officer

Follow Isabel on Twitter @missizzyofficer

*names have been changed for privacy reasons