Surprising result: The 10 most important sentences from TV show Undressed

WHEN strangers get naked together, something strange starts to happen. Undressed isn’t your run-of-the-mill reality TV.

THE producers of dating show Undressed on SBS really want you to know that the show is a “social experiment”, scattering the phrase around like punctuation.

As any experienced reality television watcher will tell you, however, “social experiment” just means they’ll be putting normal people in abnormal situations and seeing if the results are entertaining enough to put on telly.

In Undressed, the normal people are single and on-paper compatible, and the abnormal situation is that they must undress each other down to their underwear, sit on a bed, and respond to questions and instructions on a massive screen. At the end, they have to decide if they want to see each other again, but that’s the least interesting part.

As expected, the undressing bit is excruciating. The intense awkwardness and exposure do, however, act as an effective metaphor in that the participants are stripped bare — and their honesty is delicious as a result.

The participants have to strip each other naked and then answer a series of intense questions.

In the first two episodes shown on Monday night, there were lots of nice undies and surprisingly meaningful conversations, and those conversations contained some pretty important statements.

These, then, are the Ten Most Important Sentences On Undressed:

1. “I WOULDN’T CALL IT A STRUGGLE”

In response to the on-screen question “HAS YOUR CULTURAL BACKGROUND INFLUENCED YOUR DATING CHOICES?”, pale Cam says to Indian-heritage Pam “I don’t know if I have a cultural background”. Pam responds with “I guess being a straight white man doesn’t really count, does it?” Cam admits “I wouldn’t call it a struggle”.

It’s important to acknowledge that while everybody DOES have a cultural background, if yours is the dominant one it rarely feels noticeable, much less the cause of struggle. It’s easy to forget that others DO struggle, and it’s important to see a straight white man in his underwear admit it.

2. “SO THERE’S JUST ONE SORT OF NEUTRAL BEIGE COLOUR OF PEOPLE”

Pam, whose type is “tall white guys”, thinks that mixed-race babies are the way of the future, that once everybody’s all mixed together, racism will be impossible.

The problem is that the only people who really want to have sex with racists is other racists, so a beige utopia might take longer than is ideal, but it’s a sweet notion.

Lucky Cam and Pam aren’t racists.

3. “THERE’S A LOT OF BLOKEY CULTURE STILL AROUND WHERE YOU CAN’T TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS”

In another bed, fitness enthusiasts Nathan and Tahlia are faced with the on-screen question “WHAT ISSUE DO YOU FEEL MOST STRONGLY ABOUT?”. Tahlia mentions animal cruelty and domestic violence (she’s against them), and Nathan’s passionate about mental health issues.

“I’ve had a lot of guy friends succumb to suicide … there’s a lot of blokey culture still around where you can’t talk about your feelings”. It’s still quite bizarre that some people think it’s more brave and manly to cover up your vulnerabilities than admit and manage them, and any reminder that discussing problems is healthy is a good thing.

Tahlia’s not into animal cruelty. Nathan’s into talking about mental health.

4. “I WOULD DEFINITELY NOT CALL IT RACISM ... THERE WAS A CULTURAL GAP”

In the second episode, Bahaman Predz touches on the difference between racism and ‘cultural gaps’ in response to the question ‘HAVE YOU EVER EXPERIENCED RACISM IN LOVE?’. It’s fine to recognise actual differences between races and cultures — they exist — and it’s also fine to take your time to adjust to those differences. It’s only when generalisations, value judgements and xenophobia come into play that ‘cultural gap’ becomes ‘racism’.

5. “I THINK YOU SHOULDN’T PUT YOURSELF IN ANY TYPE OF POSITION WHERE YOU CAN’T BE HONEST”

There. That. That’s a big one. Predz’s date Sharn mentions honesty as the main reason she’s a good partner, and comes up with that perfect life motto.

Whenever you’re doing anything — working, being married, claiming your parliamentary travel expenses, whatever — if there’s a chance that you might have to lie about what you’re doing, either don’t do it, or own up to it straight away. The truth, and some styles of underpants, will set you free.

6. “THERE’S NO PRESSURE ON YOU TO HAVE HAD EXPERIENCE”

One of the most endearing couples of the night, Lexi and Nicole, discuss sex. Nicole admits that while she’s attracted to women and considers herself polyamorous and pansexual, she’s never had a “proper, full-on sexual relationship” with a woman.

Lexi and Nicole undress each other.

Lexi’s response, that there’s no pressure on anyone to have had experience and that everyone starts somewhere, is perfection. Nobody’s done everything. Nobody even has to do anything. Relax.

7. “I DON’T THINK I CAN REALLY CUT THE MUSTARD AFTER HAVING AN UP-CLOSE WITH THAT BOOTY”

Under instructions from the big screen to “DANCE”, Nicole teaches Lexi how to twerk, or “runs a twerkshop”, if you will. Lexi is unsure of her own skills, but gives it a red hot go. Look, this sentence is just in here because it sounds freaking cool.

That girl can twerk.

8. “DO YOU TRY AND BE DEFIANT, AND BE LIKE ‘I’M GONNA DO THIS’, OR DO YOU STEP BACK AND SAY WELL NO, I WANT TO FEEL SAFE”

Lexi and Nicole are instructed to HOLD HANDS FOR ONE MINUTE, and they talk about what it’s like to hold hands with a same-sex partner in public. For no good reason, same-sex couples holding hands in public is much more noticeable than heterosexual couples doing exactly the same thing.

Some same-sex couples do it to intentionally be defiant, some avoid it because they don’t want to be stared at or feel unsafe, but most are just simply holding hands. It shouldn’t be a big deal, but as Nicole says you have to “think of all the anxiety, of all the thought processes going behind that”.

9. “I NORMALLY WOULDN’T GET MY THIRD NIPPLE OUT ON A FIRST DATE, BUT PAM’S VERY LUCKY THAT I’VE MADE AN EXCEPTION FOR HER”

This is an important sentence because third nipples are hilarious and gross.

How thoughtful of you Cam.

10. “I CONSENT”.

The most subtle instruction the screen gives comes via slow-motion footage of couples kissing, a gentle suggestion that the couples on the bed should follow suit.

Every person checks with the other person to see if they’re okay with being kissed. “Do you wanna make out?” asks Lexi. “Yeah” says Nicole, “as long as you’re okay with that”. “I consent”, responds Lexi.

While this is certainly more formal than is necessary, there’s nothing better, or more legal, than being sure that other people are happy to have bits of your body on them. Saying ‘yes’ is consent. Not saying ‘no’ is not consent. If you’re not sure, ask. It’s pretty simple.

They consent.

Jo Thornely loves it when you explain her jokes back to her on Twitter. Follow her @JoThornely