Sami Lukis: ‘D**k dates Are A Thing And I’m Not Against Them’

It’s one of the latest heterosexual dating trends that puts a woman’s pleasure first, as Sami Lukis discovered.

It’s a modern day booty-call, where the woman calls the shots.

There’s no dinner beforehand. No “let’s meet for a drink” that turns into several drinks that ends up with a tipsy time between the sheets. It’s an appointment for sex. That’s it. Any and all emotional connections are left at the door.

You think I’m kidding? Google it! Go on, there’s a whole back catalogue of intriguing articles on the subject.

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Dick Appointment 101 tells you how to prepare for your next “dick date”, including tips on the best easy-access fashions. There are specific DD playlists, offering the perfect soundtracks for your sessions.

There are dick date makeup tutorials, where enthusiastic beauty vloggers show you how to nail that “low key glamorous makeup look that will withstand a spirited roll in the hay”, with the original DD makeup tutorial by Sarah Cheung already notching up more than one million views on YouTube.

The foolproof formula, if you’re wondering, is a light base, nude lip and waterproof mascara — in case the sex is eye-wateringly good.

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Would you give the ‘dick date’ a go? Picture: Supplied

There’s a whole lot of info for the fellas too, like, “How to create the perfect dick date hook-up kit”. Which is not just an assortment of appropriate sex supplies. He should also take snacks, apparently. And a variety of hydration options. Because, well, who wouldn’t appreciate such a considerate dick-datee?

Oh, and don’t go thinking the DD is only for those cheeky millennials. I spoke to a middle-aged single mum on my podcast recently, who’s a big fan of the dick date.

When her 15 year marriage ended, Cassie was craving some hassle-free-hanky-panky. After the trauma of separation and divorce — and a really long time in a sexless marriage — Cassie says a few months of dick dating helped her rediscover her sexuality. She called it “healing through sex”.

I realise many of you are shaking your heads in utter disbelief at this point. Probably because you think sex is the most intimate thing two people can share and should only ever be considered after an intense emotional connection has been developed.

And, while I do respect your point of view, I also believe there is a place for the dick date, in this modern dating world.

A safe, consensual interaction between two adults who are both absolutely clear about what they want, could bring some honesty and transparency back to a dating scene that’s become so damaged by the bad behaviours that keep rearing their ugly heads in today’s online hook-up culture.

Media Personality and Single Lady Sami Lukis. Picture: Lachie Millard

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Dick Dating also takes this new wave of female empowerment in the dating world to the next level. Bumble kicked things off a few years back by becoming the first dating app to give women the power and confidence to make the first move.

Perhaps the DD is also a product of the “female pleasure revolution”, which is all about encouraging women to acknowledge that we’re entitled to sexual pleasure and we shouldn’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for it.

Most importantly, the FPR urges us all to accept that slut shaming needs to stop. Now.

OK. Full disclosure: I don’t see myself embarking on a dick dating spree anytime soon.

But I do love the sound of this pleasure revolution for the ladies. So long as everyone’s honest and no one gets hurt, I’m all for ladies taking charge of our sexual pleasure, including how and when we get it.

One of the strongest advocates of the female pleasure revolution is Regena Thomashauer, author of Pussy: A Reclamation and owner of Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts in New York, where she teaches women how to embrace their sensuality and prioritise sexual pleasure as their right.

While she wouldn't personally do it, Sami applauds women putting their pleasure first. Picture: Supplied

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Aside from a few questionable suggestions, like, putting a mirror up to your vagina each morning and saying “good morning gorgeous” or dabbing some “pussy juice” behind your ear before you go on a date (Ummmmm, NOT gonna’ happen. Ever.), I think Mama Gena’s a genius.

She says her mission is to awaken women to truly live, rather than to play “small”.

In fact, as luck would have it, I’m going to be in New York next month, so maybe I’ll pay Mama Gena a visit and find out how I can better understand and appreciate my own womanly arts. I just really, really hope there aren’t any mirrors involved.

— Sami Lukis is a TV and radio presenter. Her podcast, “Romantically Challenged: The Podcast” is available via podcastone.com.au or Apple podcasts. Her book, “Romantically Challenged” is available at all good bookstores. Continue the conversation @samilukis

— This story originally appeared on whimn.com.au and is reproduced with permission