Jana Hocking: ‘Desperate’ mistake singles make in December

Being single at this time of year can cause people to take drastic action they’ll probably regret. Here’s how to avoid that all-too-common mistake.

December can be one of the testing times for relationships, with December 11 the date most couples are likely to break up during the year.

But what about if you’re single?

Navigating family and friend gatherings solo over the festive season can sometimes be a painful reminder you’re alone.

On this week’s episode of news.com.au podcastKinda Sorta Dating, Jana Hocking said singles often feel “so desperate to sort it out in the last month” of the year.

Kinda Sorta Dating host Jana Hocking. Picture: Instagram/Jana Hocking.

“(They) get to the end of the year and suddenly go ‘oh god I’ve got to find a boyfriend because I’ve wasted this entire year’ or ‘I want to go into 2022 with a partner’,” she said.

To combat these feelings relationships expert and author Simone Milasas said it was important to ask if your desire for a significant other was “yours” or if you were picking up “on everyone else’s stuff”.

“You notice how people start to freak out about money as well coming into early January they just spent all this money and they start to freak out about money,” Simone told Jana.

“Well same thing (about) being in a relationship.”

Simone said she was happily single, but would find herself longing for a partner at Christmas time.

People will freak out about single at Christmas the same way they panic about money in the new year. Picture: iStock

“It gets to this time of year and you start going, ‘oh, I wish I was in a relationship’ … but that’s not mine, it’s not actually what I desire. I love my life and I love how I am living it,” she said.

To avoid these feelings Simone said it was important to “get clear” on what desires were yours or what those around you wanted.

“Are you picking up on everyone else’s thoughts, feelings and emotions? What is it that you truly desire,” she said.

When faced with these feelings it’s important to ask yourself what it is you “truly desire”. Picture: iStock

“There are no rules, there’s no rule book, there’s no regulations — you get to choose and what I just love is people are choosing what makes them happy.”

Instead, you should chose what works for you — whether that be staying single, dating or choosing a ‘situationship’ that still gave you independence.

“What if you could really truly, truly choose what works for you and not based on anyone else’s judgments or projections,” Simone said.