It’s time for men to stop putting women down

MEN and women have this conversation with each other every single day. It’s so common that we’ve come to accept it. We shouldn’t.

This happens in bars every day. It must stop

OPINION

TODAY, I had to convince one of my most intelligent, beautiful and kind friends that she had all the aforementioned traits. Why? Because a man, or more rightly a boy, had decided to put her down after she chose not to engage in drunken banter with him.

Let me set the maddening scene for you.

My friend was at an event with her girlfriend when a guy approached and began to hit on her. While remaining civil, she made it clear she was not interested.

His response? “Girls like you, older and still single, always get like this.” He proceeded to throw little insults at her throughout the night when he passed her, obviously lashing out after being rejected.

Last week, I had to rebuild another friend’s self-confidence after a similar incident.

My question to these men is: What gives you the right to speak to a woman like that? Have you no mothers? Sisters? Nieces?

Women, don’t think you’re off the hook. How dare you let a stranger dictate how you feel about yourself? Your worth is not in the eyes of mindless strangers trying to get into your pants but in that of the people who know you.

I’m not going to sit here and give you a Dr Phil special about how amazing you are because you don’t need it. It’s fact. Know your worth.

Men, mind your damn manners. Picking up is not a game. There are human beings at the end of your pick-up lines and taunts. It won’t make you less of a person if you accept rejection with dignity. In fact, it would make you a man.

If I could go back to my younger self and give her one piece of advice, it would be know your worth. I still remember a horrible comment made to me by a guy I wasn’t interested in, when I was a teenager out with friends. I wasn’t dismissive or mean to him, but the moment I said I wasn’t interested I was called a “stuck-up dog”. He went on to say, “You’re not even that hot anyway”.

As an 18-year-old, that got to me. It played on my mind and remains on my mind now, at 30. But at 18 it was a massive blow. I blamed myself for not pretending to be interested and questioned whether I should lose weight or wear skimpier clothing. Now when I think about it, I think about the issues that the guy needed to address, because it was his problem — not mine.

Women, please don’t question yourselves if you receive an angry reception when you politely decline a man’s advances. If you want to know what people think of you, look to your family and friends because they know you; they don’t just glimpse you in a bar.

To those boys who feel the need to belittle women when rejected, put down your dog eared copy of The Game and act like normal, empathetic human beings.