I tried the Marilyn Monroe Effect for attracting men

It’s a dating trend going viral on TikTok and it turns out it actually works, says Jana Hocking.

Confession: I’ve been horribly cliche with my New Year’s resolution this year.

Following a slightly disastrous 12 months of dating in 2023 I’ve decided to actively turn things around.

I’m even going so far as accepting some responsibility for last year’s bad dating antics. It would appear, thanks to a lot of brutal but fair feedback from friends, that my body language didn’t exactly scream APPROACH ME when I was out and about.

I much preferred to just be laser focused on my friends, or my phone, or the cocktail menu. Each night I would say to the girls “ooh, I hope I pick up tonight” before inevitably ignoring every bloke in sight and waking up the next day wondering why the heck the other side of the bed was empty.

Now sure, I could have swiped left and right on the apps, and don’t get me wrong – I did! But I will admit I left many of them on read. Yep, I was that annoying person who would match with someone and then completely forget about them.

Safe to say, despite thinking I was ready to date again, my actions said otherwise.

But this year I feel different. I’ve finally kicked the two guys I was in distracting situationships with to the kerb (hold your applause, stop it, now you’re just embarrassing me) and I’m open to dating someone who is emotionally available.

Jana Hocking is taking a new attitude to dating in 2024. Picture: Instagram

So with that in mind, I’ve been looking for little tips and tricks that will allow me to meet someone in real life and appear approachable.

Perhaps it was the universe, or some form of god, or heck, even the ghost of Marilyn Monroe, but I couldn’t help but stumble upon a technique that is going wildly viral on TikTok that seemed like the perfect remedy.

It’s called the Marilyn Monroe effect and it comes with five clear and precise rules.

Before I get to them, I should probably explain what the Marilyn Monroe Effect is. It’s referring to the famous movie stars enchanting blend of confidence, sensuality, and femininity that she so brilliantly personified.

In one of the many TikTok videos doing the rounds at the moment, psychology student Mikaela Wilson explains: “Marilyn could basically walk around wearing the exact same thing and go about her errands completely unnoticed or she could turn on her Marilyn persona and people would come up to her, people would recognise her and she was suddenly in the limelight, a star.

“Psychologists are constantly using this to explain to their patients that confidence really is how you carry yourself and being attractive is really just about your body language.”

I decided to give it a go on Monday, January 1 at the New Year’s Day event I was going to. It was a busy bar that I knew would be packed with hot singletons so where better to test it out.

There are five rules that enable the Marilyn Monroe Effect to come into full force and, thankfully, they aren’t too hard to follow.

1. Have open body language - don’t be staring at your phone the whole time. Look approachable, keep your chin high and shoulders back.

2. Make eye contact with people

3. Walk slowly, and control body movement – don’t be rushing and no chaotic body movements.

4. Position yourself properly in the room – don’t be in the corner or the back. Make yourself the focus.

5. Smile back at people

I also figured it would help if I attempted to incorporate some of Marilyn’s more physical traits as well. So, I chose a dress that highlighted my most favourite parts of my body (boobs and curvy hips) and hid the parts I don’t like (stomach and big ol’ forehead).

So I picked a lovely silk dress that highlighted the tatas in what I think was a tasteful way, and skimmed over my Christmas pudding tummy. I also chose to add lots of volume to my hair and pop on some doe-eyelashes. Oh and a good lipstick. Less Audrey Hepburn, and plenty Marilyn Monroe.

Jana Hocking (centre) was ready for her Marilyn moment. Picture: Instagram

I then invited a friend over for a glass of Dutch courage (also known as Champagne) and off we choofed to the Watson’s Bay Hotel in Sydney.

My first hurdle upon arrival was rule number three. You see, we were already running late, and I wanted to do a quick lap around the vicinity to find our friends and check out the eye candy. But the rule clearly states, “walk slowly and control body movements.” Easier said and done for a slightly ADHD prone gal.

Nevertheless, I caught myself just in time and slowed the heck down. Thankfully it made for a far better entrance. By the time we had found our friends – a mix of guys and girls – I was looking put together and less frantic.

Happily, I was met with three different “Oh I love your dress” compliments from the gents in our group, and I thanked the ghost of Marilyn for stopping me come in like a sweaty hurricane and ruining the first impression.

The other rule I slightly stumbled with was rule number 1, which therefore impacted rule number 2. Have open body language and make eye contact. When it was my turn to go get a round of drinks, I made my first boo boo. Once I had ordered the drinks and tapped my card, I instantly got my phone out and started scrolling Instagram instead of simply waiting for the bartender to pour my drinks. This meant my body language was closed, and I certainly wasn’t making eye contact with anyone. OK, so this rule is slightly harder then it first appeared.

The next time I went to the bar I promised myself I would stay completely open. By that stage I had already consumed two watermelon seltzers so it became a little easier. Huzzah!

(Sidenote: the Marilyn Monroe effect is either going to get me a boyfriend or turn me into a booze hound. Lord knows which one. But I didn’t want to take on too many of Marilyn’s qualities.)

Jana Hocking met a bunch of new people by being more approachable. Picture: Instagram

Nevertheless, I prevailed … and suddenly a funny thing happened once I started putting the rules into place. I started talking to strangers. By staying off my phone, smiling when people made eye contact, not sulking in a corner, and keeping my body language friendly and approachable, I discovered that everyone loves a good chat.

Whether it’s waiting in the long toilet line, navigating your way across a packed dance floor, sneaking into the male toilets with a new friend in said toilet line to avoid waiting too long to simply pee, or saying hello to a friend-of-a-friends-friend. Everyone likes a good compliment, a laugh, or a sharing of gossip.

By the end of the night, I found myself at a random person’s house party chatting up a storm to one bloke, getting dating advice of another guy who had happily found himself in a healthy relationship, and swapping numbers with another.

Marilyn, you did me good!

So as naff as it may sound, why not give it a go. Even just for one night leave your phone out of reach, put on clothes that make you feel va va voom and follow the five steps. It won’t feel comfortable straight away, but I will say it gets easier the more you do it.

Could this be the year we all get coupled up? Lord I hope so!

Jana Hocking is a columnist and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking