Experts reveal what’s really derailing your love life

Just when you thought you had all of the terminology memorised, new dating trends have emerged — and they’re savage enough to kill your dating game.

If you thought it was safe to venture outside and casually date people in 2019 … think again.

This year promises a wave of new dating terms you are going to need to know, according to the experts from dating app Plenty of Fish.

Here’s the newest glossary of dating terms to help you dodge any toxic relationships.

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Ariana Grande’s latest hit is helping the heartbroken nurture their most important love … self love! Picture: Angela Weiss/AFP

GRANDE-ING

Named for Ariana Grande’s pop hit “Thank U, Next”.

Plenty of Fish says the song has inspired a new outlook on heartbreak, encouraging “personal celebration” post-breakup.

But don’t rush into moving on, warns relationship and dating coach Samantha Jayne. This approach can be a double-edged sword.

“It’s healthy to feel ‘feelings of sadness’ after a break up. If you move on too quickly into the arms of another you may just repeat the same pattern,” she told news.com.au.

She suggests reflecting on what you’ve learned and what you want from future relationships before diving into another one.

Did you even go to the gym if you didn't take a selfie? Picture: iStock

INSTAGRANDSTANDING

Millennials love “instagrandstanding”: that is, the act of curating your Instagram feed purely to get your love interest’s attention.

“This has been around for years, people do this on Facebook and other media platforms,” says Mrs Jayne. “Before Instagram it was done in the form of ‘peacocking’; it’s all about trying to stand out.”

“While it can work for getting someone’s attention it could also backfire as they won’t get to see the ‘real’ you (only the filtered version) and this could actually turn someone off,” she explains.

Banksy’s self-shredding painting (originally titled 'Girl with Balloon') has been renamed since destroying itself during an art auction in London. It’s now aptly called 'Love is in the Bin'. Picture: Uli Deck, DPA via AP

BANKSYING

Inspired by Banksy’s infamous shredding of his Girl With Balloon artwork, the term now describes people who carefully plan their breakups in advance.

In her 20 years of couples counselling and psychotherapy, relationship expert Melissa Ferrari says she “very rarely” sees this type of breakup. But according to a survey by Plenty of Fish among US singles, 25 per cent have done this and 44 per cent believe they’ve been “banksyied.”

Either way, Mrs Ferrari believes it’s a cruel way to cut ties with a partner.

“It says the relationship is not built on the basics of safety and security,” she tells news.com.au. “And the hurt can be damaging long-term for the person being dumped.”

THRONING

This is all about dating someone just to boost your personal profile or reputation.

Mrs Jayne says there are red flags to look out for, especially if your partner avoids getting to know you on a deeper level.

“The signs that someone is ‘throning’ you is that you feel that your relationship is shallow, there is little emotional connection and you feel like you are some sort of ‘prize’ when you are around the person,” she explains.

It's all fun and games until you're sharing the same bathroom. Picture: iStock

COHABIDATING

According to the Plenty of Fish survey, 1 in 5 singles have “cohabidated”, which means shacking up with a partner for the financial benefit of splitting the rent even if you’re not ready to move in together.

Mrs Jayne says it’s common among Millennials. “The cost of living is high and creates so much pressure,” she says. “The relationship could still work if they have common values, interests and a great connection.”

YOU-TURNING

This one is for when you fall head over heels for someone, then suddenly change your mind.

Mrs Jayne says it all comes down to the deal breaker.

“If it clashes with your values it’s completely understandable to break up with someone,” she says. “But if it’s because of something superficial such as their clothes, shoes, hairstyle something you can change easily — then it’s a worry.”

Mrs Ferrari agrees, noting that things often become clearer over time. “Taking time is important because it does take people time to show all their cards and reveal their true selves.”

Experts warn that rushing in to be a shoulder to cry on isn't the best way to start a healthy relationship. Picture: iStock

VULTURING

You know this one; when you’re really keen and they’re in a relationship … so you swoop in right after they break up.

“This trend is a very predator type behaviour,” warns Mrs Jayne. “It’s a very unhealthy way of starting a relationship because it could start a habit of co-dependence.”

Rather than circling someone just so you’re there to piece them back together again, Mrs Jayne suggests giving them time and space.

“Give them time to heal, check in with them, try to remain friends and keep yourself at a romantic distance.”

Yes, sneaters are actually a thing (and they really like being wined and dined). Picture: iStock

SNEATING

This’ll make you think twice before picking up the bill.

“Sneaters” go on dinner dates to get a fancy feed without having to foot the cost. These sneaky eaters also love choosing expensive dishes (because what would be the point if you’re ordering a side salad and table water?).

“Oh boy, this is the lowest of low,” says Mrs Jayne. “Using someone just for a fancy feast is mean. It’s not worth it for the sake of a meal. This is the very reason more and more men split the bill on the first few dates, because they worry about being taken advantage of.”

STASHING

What partner? Stashing is essentially dating someone in secret; no loved-up pics on social media, hanging out as a couple or meeting the family.

“Stashing is a huge red flag in some circumstances, especially for people that have children,” Mrs Jayne explains. “They may have an ex that will go crazy when they learn they have moved on. In other circumstances, it’s a form of waiting for someone else to come along.”

Either way, Mrs Jayne says it’s worth discussing with your partner.

“If you’re a secret from their whole world then I recommend questioning your partner and if their reasons aren’t valid or you feel something isn’t right, it might be time to look for an exit strategy because they could be hiding a secret life.”

Welcome to the world of modern dating.