Dating coach reveals how to tell if someone you’re with is into you

A professional dating coach has revealed the small verbal and non-verbal signs and factors that reveal whether someone is into you.

Ever been talking to someone and all of a sudden had a random thought that maybe they like you. Sometimes you can’t even put your finger on what tipped you off, but there’s something in the vibe that gives you that message?

Well that’s exactly what professional dating coach Jacob Lucas analyses, looking into the small signs and factors that display attraction and affection.

Speaking on Body+Soul’s daily podcast Healthy-ish, he says that we need to look out for verbal and non-verbal cues.

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Non-verbal

“I’m a big advocate of watching people’s body language,” Lucas explains. “Body language is one of the biggest indicators if someone finds you attractive.”

In fact, deciphering body language is one of the main topics that’s had his videos going viral on TikTok. Lucas explains that you should look for open body language – people turning their bodies towards you rather than away (which he calls dismissive body language).

There is also something even more subtle you can also keep an eye out for.

“One of the biggest ones that people do not realise – and it is a subconscious one – is scratching. It sounds really weird but it comes down to evolution,” he says. “It’s more prominent in women then it is in men … they will scratch, very lightly, the back of their hand.”

“If they scratch really fast and really hard it means they’re anxious. But if they’re doing it very softly, their brain and their subconscious is saying ‘I’m grooming myself for this person’. And it’s actually a subconscious way of inviting the person to groom them.”

Lucas explains that this is a evolutionary switch handed down from our monkey ancestors who use grooming as part of their social hierarchies and partnerships. Sometimes people will lightly scratch their collarbones too. How strange!

Verbal

When it comes to verbal signs someone is into you – it is usually pretty simple. Lucas explains that people become inquisitive when they find you attractive. Their first ‘port of call’ will generally be to figure out if you already have a partner.

“They’d ask a question such as, ‘what are you doing tonight, are you hanging out with your boyfriend/girlfriend?’. Now that’s people’s way of finding out if you’re single or not. You can’t walk up to many people and say ‘are you single?’ without being extremely confident,” he says.

From there, the questions will generally turn towards compatibility – what you like, what people you hang around with and more.

Lucas is working with a dating app Fitafy, a platform designed to match people based on their fitness goals and dietary preferences. He says that he’s seeing health and wellbeing become a massive trend in the online dating world.

“Health is obviously on the rise, a lot of people are more aware of healthy living and stuff like gym dates – they’re growing,” he explains.

“Body language is one of the biggest indicators if someone finds you attractive.” Picture: Supplied

“It’s becoming a lot more common for a lot of different people, especially during the pandemic. When you’re active with someone you get to know them a little bit better because you find little common interests with each other.”

He also says avoiding an “interview style” sit down dinner across from one another can help avoid awkwardness on the first few dates.

“It’s a body language thing. If you’re side on to somebody it neutralises and disarms them socially. If you want to get someone more comfortable, talk to them side on,” he says.

“This is why car journeys always have the best conversations – people don’t know why – but it’s because you are side on and you’re socially disarmed.”

Watch Jacob’s TikToks here, @jacoblucasis101 or follow him on Instagram, @jacoblucas101. For more on Fitafy, click here.

This article originally appeared on Body+Soul and was reproduced with permission