Dating body language: X-rated reason people turn red

Facial flushing can be a nightmare, especially on a date, but it turns out there’s a very sexual reason why we go red when we like someone.

Dating is a minefield. Whether it’s figuring out how long to wait between texts, how to act not thirsty, or simply learning how to keep your dark, messed up humour at bay for at least the first couple of dates.

So with the prospect of a second date on the horizon, I wanted a cheat sheet that would allow me to figure out quickly whether we were mutually into each other, or if one of us would eventually just send a “ha” text and we’d never speak again. You know what I’m talking about.

So I poured myself a glass of wine and dived into the googlesphere to look for something, anything that would give me exactly that: A cheat sheet.

Eventually, I stumbled on a Matchmaking Agency in the UK called Seventy Thirty who had used relationship experts and psychologists to create five secret body language tips that decode whether your date is into you.

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Jana Hocking wanted a quick way to find out if her date was into her. Picture: Instagram.

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And so, ahead of a second date, I armed myself with the following knowledge to see if the bloke was into me.

TOUCHING

This is hardly surprising, but it turns out that if someone finds an excuse to touch you during a conversation, this is a definite sign they are into you. Touching releases chemicals in the brain that make people feel good.

Now here’s the problem – I didn’t realise how much I touch. On my date, we were walking from my house to the restaurant when I noticed I touched his arm while I was talking about five times. Completely unintentionally.

OK so fun new-found fact … turns out I was indeed into him, but there wasn’t so much touching from him.

FLUSHING

Now this might sound ridiculous, but I adore when a guy’s face flushes, and it turns out there is a very saucy reason behind the flush. It’s an involuntary and obvious signal that their body is very attracted to you. In fact, it is trying to mimic an orgasm.

Umm. Excuse me … what?!

Sadly, the only moment my date flushed was when my chihuahua, aka The Devil, greeted him at the door with barks that I reckon literally made the whole neighbourhood stop and stare.

Gaaaah Jana Hocking, when will you learn to hide your beast of a dog from dates until they are madly in love with you. Rookie error.

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Don’t let The Devil greet your dates. Picture: Instagram.

FIDGETING

When we catch the feels for someone, they make us nervous and our heart beats rapidly. To calm those feelings, we tend to try and find distractions with our hands or move our legs to get rid of some pent-up energy.

Apparently other signs to look for include unexplained laughter and sweaty palms. When a person has trouble sitting still it is usually because you make them nervous and excited.

Well, well, well, what do you know, at dinner his knee looked like it was at a disco the way it was bobbing up and down. Hooray!

FEET POINTING

OK so this one sounds a little ridiculous but trust me, it’s true! If someone is interested in the conversation, their feet will be pointed at you. It means they are present in the moment with you. If their feet are pointed to the exit, they are probably thinking about ways to get out of the date.

If your date’s feet are towards the door, it means they want to bolt. Picture: Instagram.

Slight dilemma, the exit was behind us and we were placed at the bar, sitting side-by-side. I decided it was to weird to take a glance at his feet, so I kept an eye on the next body language tip which was …

MIRRORING

This is by far my favourite body language signal. If your date is trying to establish a connection with you, they will mirror your actions. It can extend to your posture, tone of voice and talking pace. A simple check is by leaning into them and seeing if they follow suit.

I did notice at the start that as I leant my head on my arm, he did the same thing … but then we had three margaritas and I kinda forgot to keep track of his body language!

So judging by these new found body language giveaways, I think the date went OK, but then again, all I’ve received today is a “ha” reply to a ‘hilarious’ video message I sent him of me acting like an absolute loon at work this morning.

So, maybe I’ll keep a better eye on the body language my next date gives off.

Jana Hocking is a podcaster and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking | Jana (with a J)