Dating a single mum is the way to go

SNEZANA Markoski is happy, confident and knows what she wants. She may well be the new poster woman for single mothers.

SNEZANA Markoski may be the new poster woman for single mothers, thanks to this season of the The Bachelor.

There’s no doubt she’s exceptionally stunning but more importantly she’s a woman who is confident in her own skin. She makes it clear her daughter is her absolute priority but being a solo parent doesn’t exclude her from falling in love and having a meaningful relationship.

She reminds us there’s plenty of reasons why dating a single mother rocks.

NO GAMES

The only games single mums play come in a box with instructions and a dice (or in Sam’s case, with some kind of sports equipment). They don’t have time to play the “will he call me” or “shall I wait three days so he doesn’t think I’m overly keen” games. If they’re into the guy, they’ll call. If they’re not, they’ll call it early.

Snezana has involved her daughter Eve in the reality TV show, getting the 10-year-old to quiz the Bachelor Sam Wood.

THEY’RE HAPPIER, STRONGER VERSIONS OF THEIR FORMER SELVES

Single mothers, like all humans, come in a kaleidoscope of colours. Their experiences — positive and negative — shape who they are and their outlook on life. This often means they have been through trauma, heartache and dark times. There may be a considerable disparity between your frame of reference and theirs, but be assured that more often than not, single mothers emerge from hardship as stronger, happier versions of themselves.

THEY KNOW WHAT THEY WANT

Rather than faffing about looking for the perfect man, they’re realistic. Single mothers know what they want, and are clear on what they don’t (often been there, procreated with him). As a result, they can make some swift decisions about whether the union will work. There’s no dragging their feet or beating around the mulberry bush with single mothers. Be prepared to get down to some serious business talk early on though. Time-wasters, they are not.

Sandra Bullock is the epitome of cool mum. She went all out when taking son Louis to a Halloween party at his school. Picture: AKM-GSI/Splash News

Michelle Williams handled the shocking death of her daughter Mathilda’s father, actor Heath Ledger, with poise. Picture: NCP/Star Max/FilmMagic

THEY DON’T NEED RESCUING

Single mothers often do it tough. They carry the load alone and even if they have an impressive support network, the ultimate responsibility for parenting their child comes down to them. It’s because of this, not in spite of it, that they are self-sufficient and independent. Learning to rely on themselves teaches single mothers that strength comes from within. However, having that inner drive and determination to be independent doesn’t mean they can’t open themselves up to sharing; it just means they don’t need rescuing.

THEY’RE LOOKING FOR A PARTNER, NOT A FATHER FOR THEIR CHILD

Clearly single mothers need a child to qualify for the title. That child has/had a father. Whether the father is a keen and active participant in their child’s life or completely absent, the role of father is taken. In sadder circumstances, a father has passed away and a child may look to a father-figure to guide them and provide a positive role model. Either way, a single mother is ultimately looking for a partner for herself, that will accept, involve and nurture her child. She is not, however, looking for a pseudo-father for her child.

Sandra Bullock found out her husband was cheating, so she filed for divorce and then adopted a baby boy, Louis Bardo. Picture: AP Photo/Amy Sancetta, File

LONELY DOESN’T EQUAL DESPERATE

Raising a child is challenging enough, doing it without another adult to confer with, to debrief and bounce ideas off can be a very lonely world. Sure, they always have their child for company, but that’s not the same as sharing adult joys and issues with a caring and compassionate partner. Just don’t confuse loneliness with desperation.

EASILY IMPRESSED

There are limited opportunities for single parents to relax and unwind. Pampering your date, surprising her with a touch of romance or just showing her you’ve taken some time to consider what she’d like, will go far to impress her. Be aware that although spontaneous situations are invigorating, they rely on flexibility that single mothers don’t always have when there are babysitters to organise. Respecting her time will clock up considerable brownie points.

In a relationship, a single mother has a wealth of experience and maturity to offer. Not to mention, a woman’s devotion to her child can be a very appealing attribute. Single mothers can be resilient, passionate and nurturing but, like all of us, have vulnerabilities. Having patience, an open mind and genuine interest may just lead to a momentous coupling.

(P.S. Go Snez!)

Kate Winslet has three children from different relationships but they have always lived with her, and not their fathers. ‘They don’t go from pillar to post; they’re not flown here and there with nannies. That’s never happened,’ Winslet previously said. Picture: Mike Windle/Getty Images