‘Awkward’ Tantric trick from MAFS that actually works

Podcaster Jana Hocking finds this Tantric trick excruciating to do but she can’t argue with the amazing results.

Now I don’t know about you, but I have been absolutely squirming my way through ‘intimacy week’ on Married at First Sight. It’s not the making out session, or the hugging session, that’s got me feeling so awkies, it’s the part where they have to stare into each other’s eyes for three whole minutes.

I have never had a problem with eye contact, I like to think I’m pretty decent at it, but to stare into someone’s soul for a whole three minutes just seems petrifying.

Retaining eye contact for three minutes is not Jana’s idea of fun. Picture: Instagram.

Turns out however, there is some magical aspect to it that works! The bond you share afterwards is actually pretty insane. I know, it sounds a bit kooky right?! But stick with me here …

My guests this week on my Kinda Sorta Dating podcast were Jules Robinson and Cam Merchant, former contestants of MAFS, who are now happily married parents to baby Oliver. I was discussing how awkward intimacy week is to watch and they were saying how they count their blessings they didn’t have to do it in their season, however, they did accidentally find themselves doing the eye contact test on the first day of filming.

You see, following their wedding, which took place five minutes after meeting each other, they then had to get these really long camera shots of themselves looking into each others eyes for their wedding photos.

Jules explained that to get these camera shots they had to stare quite lovingly at each other for at least five minutes. Cam then jumped in and said it’s actually the secret to their instant bond.

Jules Robinson and Cam Merchant met on MAFS. Picture: Toby Zerna

You see, ‘eye gazing’ is actually a really old Tantric method that was designed around 3000 years ago in India to achieve enlightenment and a connection with someone on a deeper level. During the exercise, you look deeply into your partner’s eyes to foster a spiritual and sexual connection.

And when I think about it, there have definitely been times when I’ve got a little bit lost in someone’s eyes and thought uh-oh I think I might be falling a little bit in love.

I remember one exact occasion on a first date with a guy who I found quite intimidating. He was very alpha and somehow just commanded the room. I was a bit on edge, but then he said something that made me forget my nerves and blurt out something outrageous in response, and for a hot second we just stared at each other in shock and I swear his crystal blues eyes looked into my soul and I almost physically swooned.

What is it about eye contact that can knock us off our feet?!

So if you want to fast track your connection with someone, why not give it a go? Sure it will be awkward at first, but the results don’t lie. It’s effective.

Here is the very simple method …

1. Sit in a comfortable position and face your partner. A couch works best, less formal. You can hold hands if you’d like.

2. Set a timer for your desired amount of time. For most of us, eye gazing might feel uncomfortable at first. If so, start with a shorter session. Practice eye gazing for 30 seconds, then increase your session over time. Most Tantric practitioners recommended eye gazing for 10 to 20 minutes. Eek!

3. Look into your partner’s eyes. Breathe deeply and allow yourself to blink. Keep your gaze soft and try not to look away.

4. Break your gaze when the timer goes off.

The goal of eye gazing is to connect your energies without speaking. I’m told it also works ridiculously well in the bedroom.

So there you go, want to spice up a first date a little? Maybe have a wine or two for some Dutch courage and then set the challenge? If your date says no, at least they will remember you as that kooky person who asked them to “eye gaze” with you … and who doesn’t want to be remembered!

Jana Hocking is a podcaster and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking