Infrastructure Australia relocates Brisbane’s CBD, invents new suburb in official map

IT IS not known whether anyone who works at Infrastructure Australia has access to a little known application called Google Maps.

According to the map, Deputy Premier Jackie Trad’s South Brisbane electorate has a new suburb: Hill Gate. Picture: Claudia Baxter

THIS does not bode well for the Queensland Government’s number one infrastructure project.

For many years, the long suffering commuters of Brisbane have been desperately waiting for federal funds to enable them a second rail line across the river that divides the city.

But, if a new report from the infrastructure body determining the viability of the project is anything to go by, it may never get across the line.

Because we’re not even sure the good folk at Infrastructure Australia even know where Brisbane is.

Ahh, Hill Gate. We never knew thee.

Not only has Infrastructure Australia struck the cross river project off its priority list, in doing so, the Sydney-based body has reconfigured the city.

It’s unknown whether anyone from the government advisory body has ever visited Brisbane, or if they have access to the little known application Google Maps.

But in a map accompanying the report released on Wednesday, the Brisbane CBD was relocated to the opposite side of the river and the inner city suburb of Highgate Hill was rebranded “Hill Gate”.

Apparently these children grew up and got jobs at Infrastructure Australia.

Actual scenes inside the Infrastructure Australia office.

Understandably, Queensland Transport Minister was incensed with the 10km tunnel project being left off the federal priority list.

But how, she reasoned, can a body that apparently does not know where Brisbane is located correctly determine whether or not the project is a priority?

“Their analysis is based on mistakes and assumptions that are clearly false,” she said.

“What they are telling Queenslanders is Cross River Rail shouldn’t be built until we reach a crisis on our network, until we see patronage figures increase to 150 per cent.”

Could possibly have been the exact moment Deputy Premier Jackie Trad saw the map. Picture: Claudia Baxter

Infrastructure Australia quickly rallied to rework their map on Thursday morning.

.@InfraAust puts Highgate Hill back and returns CBD pic.twitter.com/88VwNL2GvW

— Patrick Condren (@PatrickCondren) July 27, 2017

But for the good people of Hill Gate, formerly Highgate Hill, and its surrounding suburbs, the seeds of mirth had already been sown.

This monorail will put Hillgate on the map!! @zonca @SteveAustinABC @abcbrisbane 🚝 🗺 pic.twitter.com/9ab1NbMM4S

— Iceberg enjoyer (@Top_level_Ted) July 26, 2017

Frankly those Hills Gate folks just get too much i reckon

— Dee Madigan (@deemadigan) July 27, 2017

What in flipping heck is this abomination? https://t.co/GYA7VRKuKQ

— Terri Butler MP (@terrimbutler) July 26, 2017

Shocked to discover I apparently live in Brisbane CBD...on the southside, & work in HillGate #qldpol #auspol #UTOPInfrastructureAustralia pic.twitter.com/XbrqXLWKSI

— Tim Seelig (@Tim_Seelig_Aus) July 26, 2017