Why Budgie Nine don’t deserve our sympathy

THEY’RE former private schoolboys who endured time in a Malaysian prison for dropping their pants. They don’t deserve sympathy from any of us.

Edward Leaney and Thomas Laslett, two of the ‘Budgie Nine’ who include private schoolboys and sons of the rich who briefly entered Australian history. Picture: Instagram

OPINION

THEY’RE former private schoolboys with the cash to jetset around the world dropping their trousers with plenty of reasons why they don’t deserve our sympathy.

The so-called ‘Budgie Nine’ had to endure four days crammed into two grimy cells at Malaysia’s Sepang Police Station with, as Channel Nine reported, “no beds, no fans, no showers”.

Handcuffed, they marched into court wearing blue shirts and sports coats, one poor lad fainting in the heat, before a hired lawyer managed to get the boys off. Eight of the nine have now returned home to Australia.

Advised by one father of these well-educated toffs — former Westpac, Domino’s Pizza and Thrifty Car Rentals executive John Walker — lawyer Shafee Abdullah solved the mystery that had gripped the nation.

Using the lifesaving excuse, he explained that the lads were so used to engaging in the noble pursuit of saving the lives of swimmers on Australian beaches, “culturally” it is “second nature” for them to strip down.

Tom Laslett posted this photograph as one of his budgie smuggler exploits around the globe.

Facebook picture of Edward Leaney, Trinity Grammar old boy and one of the Budgie Nine relaxing on a yacht.

Civil engineer and Palm Beach lifesaver Tom Laslett pictured before he made international headlines as one of the Budgie Nine.

The Malaysian magistrate bought it. The graduates of Australia’s most prestigious university and most expensive boys’ schools who now work in government, industry and finance were freed from their terrible torment.

One newspaper made the queasy assertion that the nine were “proof that a good school, good DNA and good clothes” don’t necessarily make for good or sensible men.

But what the Malaysian magistrate may not have known, is that they have done it all before.

The lads have made a habit of travelling the world with matching sets of custom-made Budgie Smugglers and baring their arses abroad.

Pyne staffer Jack Walker’s social media picture of his kit for a fun day out with the boys.

This man advises the Federal Defence Industry Minister on the purchase of fighter planes and naval ships.

In 2012, they flashed red budgie smugglers on boats during Croatia Yacht Week, before cruising on to regattas in Amsterdam, Rome and Mykonos in an assortment of swimmers.

The next year, two of the nine — Kings schoolboy and financier Thomas Whitforth and Church of England Grammar schoolboy and advertising executive Nick Kelly — paraded in Sydney’s Martin Place.

To be fair, it was for Strut the Streets, raising money for indigenous Australians.

Mr Kelly’s Instagram page reveals many overseas smuggler outings.

Mr Whitforth and civil engineer Thomas Laslett flaunted more smugglers while posing on a rock on holiday in Goulburn.

More exploits abroad of the Budgie Nine who have bared their swimming trunks in Croatia, Italy and Greece.

The exploit that put these rich boys on the public radar as the Budgie Nine, the Malaysian Grand Prix. Picture: AP

Handcuffed and wearing another sort of uniform, the Budgie Nine file into court before their acquittal. Picture: Jack Tran

But after their “Malaysian jail hell”, will the nine be amusing themselves with budgie capers ever again?

Apart from wanting to protect more modest nations from these guys, many Australians do not care.

The nine will sail off into golden futures inured to the privations of normal folk.

The outlook may be temporarily clouded for the ninth budgie, Defence Industry Minister Christopher Pyne’s staffer Jack Walker, who evaded more of the spotlight by delaying his return home.

When he’s not dropping his dacks in foreign hardship locations, Mr Walker apparently advises Federal Cabinet on buying fighter planes and navy ships.

But his big salary may well be at risk. Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull’s has released a statement that he will be speaking with Mr Pyne about Mr Walker’s need “to have a very hard look at himself and his future”.

The only shame about the whole affair is that the nine budgie smugglers — the actual swimsuits — were laid as exhibits out in Sepang Magistrates Court and no-one seems to have a photograph.

The Budgie Nine’s spiritual mentor, Tony Abbott, would be sorry to have missed that.