‘I thought I was dying’: How a night out almost derailed my life

It was meant to be a night out to remember – but instead Sydney woman Claudia Poposki was left unable to walk or speak and is still picking up the pieces.

Being taught to look over your shoulder while on a night out is second nature to a woman. But a year ago, one of the most terrifying things I could imagine happened to me – my drink was spiked.

Recently, for the first time, I returned to the Sydney venue where it happened – something I had until then actively avoided.

In October last year, when the city’s lockdown was easing, we could all go back to pubs, bars and clubs again.

I’d been so excited to go out – I was celebrating a friend’s birthday, the weather was nice and it just seemed like all around good vibes. In the first photo you can see how eager I am.

I had a couple of drinks with some food, before heading out to the venue and getting more drinks and food.

Last year, my drink was spiked and my mental health spiralled. Picture: Supplied.

I knew my limit, and my plan was to walk home to get some steps in and enjoy the sunshine.

The next drink I ordered I’d planned to be my last, and instead of going up to the bar like I had done for the others, I decided to order off the QR code at the table as I was eating.

While I knew I was nowhere near hitting a point of no return, I didn’t want to ruin my plans of walking home so I was playing it safe.

Ordering off the QR code was the “mistake” I’d made and there is little I remember after that, except from what I’ve been told.

I was found in the bathroom by one of my mates, who had to essentially carry me outside the venue. I couldn’t walk, I couldn’t speak. When I was eventually put on the phone to my boyfriend, he later relayed it was like I was speaking an alien dialect. Nothing made sense.

None of my thoughts were coherent in my head – I remember desperately trying to follow the conversation about getting me home safely and unable to contribute to the conversation because my brain knew the words but they were coming out garbled.

I remember feeling terrified, unable to trace my steps and alarm bells ringing danger screaming in my head.

I thought I was dying.

I don’t remember anything about getting home. I remember waking up hours later, in my bed, to dozens of calls and texts.

I know some might argue I probably did have a little too much to drink but the reaction to my last drink was instantaneous. I went from telling stories to not being able to speak or walk – something that had never happened to me before. No matter how wild a night had been, I always remembered every moment of it. Of this night, I had clear memories up until that last drink.

After I was spiked, when things calmed down and I didn’t feel like every moment was going to be painful, I went to the doctor.

Text messages from my partner freaking out after he got a call from a friend. Picture: Supplied.

Whatever I had been spiked with had passed out of my system – although I have my suspicions of what it was – but I had to do tests on my heart and my brain to rule out anything more sinister such as a stroke.

“If these tests are negative, then you are right about being spiked,” I remember the doctor telling me.

It cost me hundreds of dollars to confirm what I knew – that I was spiked. Something that had taken a literal moment for someone to do to me.

On a mental note, I was terrified to leave the house. I didn’t want to go anywhere unless my partner was by my side because I didn’t feel safe. I was picking fights with those around me. I wasn’t enjoying any of my old hobbies. Work was a slog.

It was the worst my mental health had ever been and I had started to spiral – and that is truly putting it lightly. Everything terrified me and I started to close myself off. My work, fitness and social life suffered a lot.

I didn’t go to police, or tell the venue, and to this day I regret that decision.

But, I got help. I was lucky. Help isn’t a possibility for everyone.

This was the moment for me to take back what had happened to me at what was meant to be such a fun night.

It was a sign that all the work I’d put in since working on myself hadn’t been for nothing.

The night before, I was tossing and turning as I slept. I felt sick to my stomach. I cried as I headed off to leave.

But I went, and I had the best time. I felt safe, the people around me had my back and it felt like day and night to my past experience.

There were two times I felt nervous – once on the dance floor and once at the bar, when a woman grabbed my arm to chat to me about my earrings.

Recently, I went to the bar where it happened for the first time since. Picture: Supplied.

I felt like I couldn’t protect my drink so I dumped it out.

I reclaimed a place that felt terrifying to me – it was essentially my boogey man and I couldn’t ever imagine going back.

But, as my mother pointed out the next day, it is only a place. It didn’t have to be as scary as it was built up to be in my head.

I am not the only one with a story like this – and that is why I am writing this piece. Thanks to my friends, I escaped relatively unscathed but in 20 to 30 per cent of spiking incidents a sexual assault occurs. Most women I know have a story about a spiking – whether it happened to them or they had to help a friend pick up the pieces.

I want to give those people comfort but also, hopefully, someone who thinks spiking a drink is acceptable for a laugh will read this will change their mind.

Spikings are on the rise – particularly following lockdown but with so many unreported it’s hard to put an exact figure on it.

For most, it is about power. For those targeted, it is a huge violation and a massive loss of control. Control is everything in a person’s life, that is why we have routine. That being ripped from you without any say is damaging.

According to sexual assault service, Full Stop’s, Tara Hunter, the Director, Clinical and Client Services, when more people go out – such as post lockdown, Christmas and summer, more people need help after being spiked.

“Very often people will contact our service feeling unsure about whether they have been sexually assaulted but they suspect that they have had their drink spiked and they may have woken up with clothes inside out, with unexplained injuries or they are experiencing fragmented memories,” Ms Hunter told news.com.au.

“Full Stop Australia is able to support people who are worried about whether they have been drink spiked and are also concerned that they have been sexually assaulted.”

Full Stop’s CEO, Hayley Foster, said the most common targets are young women and gender diverse people.

I am not the only woman with a story like this. Picture: Supplied

“There is a really big role for bystanders here. Bystanders – trust your instincts and step up. It is a good idea to set up plans at the start of the night to look out for each other,” she said.

“But for anyone out and about, if you see something that doesn’t look or feel quite right, report it to staff or security

“And check in with the person you’re concerned about.”

Ms Hunter said spiking is a difficult crime to prove, and that’s why it is so underreported.

She said Full Stop helps people get the support, information and testing they need, as toxicology screening is time sensitive.

Ms Hunter added data has shown more people coming forward after an assault, with drink spiking a way to get people vulnerable.

“We hope some of the increase is that people feel safe coming forward,” Ms Hunter said.

In Australia, drink spiking is illegal and, in New South Wales, it is punishable with up to two years in prison.

A week after I was spiked. My smile is incredibly forced and the stress caused a cold sore. Picture: Supplied

A leaflet prepared by NSW Police reveals that spiking with drugs such as GHB and Rohypnol is very rare, with alcohol being the most common way to spike a drink.

Drugs that are typically used in spikings are a depressant, particularly when mixed alcohol.

Police advise if you think you have been spiked or assaulted, to immediately go to the emergency room as blood tests can find traces of certain drugs up to 24 hours after the spiking has occurred.

Typical signs to look out for is feeling dizzy, faint, ill, sleepy, passing out, waking up confused with memory gaps and feeling drunk without much to drink.

Police also advise that most spikings are done by someone you know.

If you have a similar story you’d like to share confidentially, email [e-mail]