What your favourite 2015 film says about you

YOUR most loved film of 2015 actually says a lot about you. So what does it mean if you’re heaps into Trainwreck, The Martian or (gasp!) Fast and the Furious 7?

Amy Schumer and Bill Hader in a scene from film Trainwreck

WITH the biggest film of the year, Star Wars: Episode VII — The Force Awakens, currently setting the internet into overdrive and breaking box office records before it’s even released, it’s time to look back at what movies have filled cinemas across the globe this year.

And, more importantly, what critic Tyson Wray thinks your favourite flick secretly says about you.

TRAINWRECK

A “cheeky drink with the girls” has on more than one occasion ended up with you having no qualms about eating a whole block of cheese on the first train home.

MINIONS

You use comic sans, you wear crocs, your favourite actor is Adam Sandler, your favourite game is Farmville, your favourite book is The Da Vinci Code and your favourite artist is Banksy. You basically are the human equivalent of Netscape.

THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES

At least twice a night you have to disconnect the internet because your grandma needs to use the phone.

Or you could just be a New Zealander. Same, same, really.

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

Your sex life is so incredibly dull that you were obviously conceived in the missionary position.

STEVE JOBS

You are the only person in your friendship circle who owns an iWatch and they all think you’re a d***head for it.

PAN

Ninety per cent of your Facebook profile photos are of yourself posing with a sedated animal.

THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS 7

You are completely baffled as to why the constant pictures of your customised decaled 1998 Commodore are yet to receive a single like when you post them as a ‘moment’ on Tinder.

GET HARD

You boycotted Vegemite after you found out it was halal.

Because this film is super intelligent.

MAD MAX: FURY ROAD

You often get distracted from conversation when something shiny comes into view.

BACK TO THE FUTURE

You have somehow entered a space-time continuum and gone back to 1985.

ENTOURAGE

You share at least 10 Facebook posts from The Lad Bible every week.

AMERICAN SNIPER

Your share house has both a Scarface and a Jimi Hendrix poster in the lounge room.

Because you are a dude. A dude who is in no way confused about his manliness. Fist bump, bro!

SAN ANDREAS

You thought this film was going to be about Grand Theft Auto.

PITCH PERFECT 2

You are way too young to remember the highly problematic role that Rebel Wilson played in the television show Fat Pizza.

THE MARTIAN

You are the only person on the planet who thinks Matt Damon is a credible actor.

THE AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON

You once took a Rorschach ink blot test and every answer you gave was Steve Urkel.

JURASSIC WORLD

You took away two lessons from this movie. 1) Never try to play God. 2) This is what this is what it’s like to be a girl on Tinder:

Like fending off a bunch of uncouth dinosaurs.

Tyson Wray is a highly judgmental editor and writer from Melbourne. Follow him on Twitter @tysonwray.