‘Let me speak’: Sexual assault survivor slams our worst law

JANE Doe was just 15 years old when she was groomed and repeatedly sexually assaulted. She wants to share her story to help others, but the law is stopping her.

JANE Doe was just 15 years old when she was groomed, molested and repeatedly sexually assaulted by her then 58-year-old high school maths teacher, Nicolaas Ockert Bester.

Bester, who was convicted of sexually assaulting Jane approximately 20 to 30 times, served just 22 months in jail.

Jane Doe has never spoken out in full. But now she wishes to.

THIS IS HER STORY

“Over a year ago I made the decision that I wanted to waive my right to anonymity and speak out publicly in the interest of raising awareness and improving the public’s understanding of complex issues like grooming.

For me, the motivation for sharing my story publicly stems from a desire to spread awareness, information, and ultimately, hope. As I see it, every story, by its unique circumstances, has invaluable educative potential.

I am now 23, and as I have gotten older, I’ve become more cognisant of the disturbing insidiousness of what happened.

And yet I understand that under Tasmanian law, I cannot be identified as the victim of a sexual offence unless the court orders otherwise.

If I do so, I risk being found in contempt of court because of a law which states that no one can publicise the identity of a survivor, even with the survivor’s permission.

This law is wrong. While well intentioned, it doesn’t protect survivors from media exploitation. Rather, it shields perpetrators from having to face up to the public consequences of their own actions.

But this limitation also impedes my ability to perform other work I am passionate about.

Since May 2016, I have worked on a voluntary basis as an advocate for a not-for-profit organisation that guides survivors of child abuse through the complex systems they encounter when trying to bring their abusers to justice or receive compensation.

Through my advocacy, I assist other survivors of sexual abuse to access support and the various platforms through which to make their voices heard.

It is painfully ironic that while I support other survivors to find their voice, I am being denied my own.

In addition to helping others, I believe that putting my name to my story will give me the opportunity to address the gaps in Australian society’s overall perception of sexual abuse and I firmly consent to being identified as a victim and have signed an affidavit to that effect.

It can take the better part of a lifetime for survivors to make sense of their personal experiences. It wasn’t until almost seven years after coming forward that I thought to learn more about the various calculated stages of grooming.

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Despite a large number of cases having already been covered by the media, there remains a frightening lack of understanding within society of the layered complexities of sexual and psychological violence. Not nearly enough is known about the typical personality profiles of predators; how they operate; nor the processes by which they carefully select, condition and manipulate their victims, as well as their victims’ friends and family members.

As it stands, the media and general public tend to disproportionately humanise sexual perpetrators, at the expense of victims, and at the broader expense of justice, truth and progress. When survivors are absent from public discussions, abusers reap the benefits of undeserved sympathy, while survivors suffer in the face of perpetual stigma.

SIGN THE PETITION: Let Her Speak

This stigma is often borne of the common misconception that abuse is an admissible mistake, and that victims are somehow equally culpable. Naturally, victims are apprehensive of reporting, a fear on which perpetrators further capitalise.

I am well aware that being publicly identified comes with the inherent risk of slander and humiliation, but such outcomes could never outweigh the potential for widespread positive change.

I believe a thorough, honest and dignified public discussion of my case wherein I am able to be named and thereby humanised, would present a pivotal opportunity to advance the discourse, and enable me to continue my work as an advocate for survivors of sexual abuse.

The obvious goal is to completely eradicate sexual violence, but this is sadly an idealistic and unlikely reality.

RELATED: Ridiculous law that needs to be changed

What we can do, however, is continue to build a safe, accepting environment for victims and encourage widespread cognisance of their struggles. In any given case, between a survivor and the general public, we should aim to foster mutual respect and an ability to relate to the other wherever possible.

I am grateful for all the other survivors who are speaking out today in support of my right to be heard. I am moved beyond belief by their support. Not only do I want the same opportunities that they have had to speak out, I want to reform the law so that all others in Tasmania and the NT who wish to speak out, can.

We are in need of survivors who are ready to be completely open, and prepared to have tough discussions in the pursuit of greater understanding.

I am one such survivor.

Let me speak.

If you or someone you know is affected by sexual violence, please call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732).