How a single mum was tricked into thinking her ex-boyfriend was still abusing her

A woman lived in fear of her ex-boyfriend because of the messages she and her new boyfriend received – only they weren’t from him.

This woman was cyber-stalked so badly she ended up in hospital.

The West Australian single mother, who cannot be named for legal reason, had changed her phone number eight times, had seven different phones, six email addresses, two laptops, two modems and four tablets but the abuse kept coming no matter what she did.

She started to think her ex-boyfriend and father of her child had hidden a listening device in her house.

The 37-year-old had been with the man for about two years and claimed during that time he was abusive mentally and physically.

When she finally broke up with him in November 2013, she said the abuse escalated.

She claimed he had put a GPS tracking device in her car after their break-up, so hiding a device in her house wouldn’t have been out of the question.

She took out two violence restraining orders against him in 2014 and 2016.

But the abuse kept coming and continued when she started dating a new man in 2016.

That man too received supposed messages the woman’s ex-boyfriend.

She said the cyber abuse, stalking and even hacking continued for three years, even after her ex-boyfriend moved away.

The woman said her email was hacked and messages were sent to her employer impersonating her.

But what she ultimately discovered was horrifying: the messages were all being sent from her current boyfriend who was impersonating her ex, making her believe she was still being abused by him.

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The woman thought her boyfriend was receiving these messages from her ex.

But it turns out he was just posing as the ex and sending them to himself.

“It was a psychotic ploy. He liked to be the hero, create a problem, then be the saviour,” the woman said.

“He was a really good gaslighter.

“He was making me crazy. I was losing my freaking mind. It was affecting my work because my anxiety went through the roof.

“He was puppet mastering it all.”

When fraudulent medical certificates got sent to her employer and an email impersonating a West Australian police officer, police got involved.

The woman had to resign from her job and was charged with six counts of fraud just a month later.

It wasn’t until months later her boyfriend – who she’d since broken up with – came clean.

But she had already plead guilty in court to avoid the case going to trial and to get a light sentence.

Because everything had come from her email or computer, she felt she had no choice.

She was given a community order with nine months probation and had to do community service.

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The cyber abuse continued for many years.

The woman said she now had a criminal record which had left her without a job for two years.

In February this year she was hospitalised again for six days because of the toll everything had taken on her mental health.

“It’s been so lonely. A lot of people don’t know how to support me,” she said.

“For a while there my family questioned whether I was making it up. A lot of the time people thought I was making it up.

“It’s taken a massive, massive toll. I still don’t have a job. I’m trying to get myself back to person I was beforehand.”

She said her trust had been shattered because at least with her first boyfriend she knew what she was dealing with but the deceit and manipulation from the second relationship was hard to get over.

“It’s caused massive damage emotionally,” she said.

She said when police pursued her for fraud she plummeted mentally.

“The thing that really upset me is I had a massive, huge history of police helping me,” she said.

“There was enough history that I was the victim. I’m a victim of domestic violence – haven’t I had enough?

“They knew it could have been him and instead of going, this girl has gone through enough, they charged me.”

“It was really hard, on one hand having police help me, to the next minute they’re against me.”

The woman said the coronavirus pandemic had actually saved her because she was able to get JobKeeper payments and defer her mortgage repayments.

She said her main desire sharing her story was to raise awareness of the different types of abuse and the detrimental effect it had, taking a massive toll on her life.

Western Australia police could not confirm the woman’s claims.