Five signs you’ve finally become a grown up

AS MUCH as you might try to deny it, there are some things that make you a certifiable adult. Some are a little painful.

ACCORDING to a study in the UK, the average Brit doesn’t consider themselves a grown up until they’re the ripe old age of 29 with picking up the keys to a new home, becoming a parent and getting married as the top three telling signs.

Keep in mind, these people also come from the land where an overwhelming majority of the population think a $380 million ship should be called Boaty McBoatface.

But what about us fair dinkum Aussies? If you’re anything like me and are in your late 20s and have no idea which is rubbish night, have been known to eat cereal for dinner and still own a giant sized dress up box, then you have nothing to worry about.

On the other hand if you’ve now caught yourself saying “back in my day”, suffer from ferocious hangovers, have a couple of kids in tow and a scary mortgage, well it might be time to re-evaluate things and come to terms with the fact that you might have become that dreaded word.

Here are some warning signs that your Peter Pan days may indeed be behind you.

YOU HAVE KIDS

When I asked my Facebook network what it meant to become a grown up, the overwhelming response was having kids, regardless of whether they had them or not.

“It’s funny, I never felt like I grew up until I had kids. It was the responsibility that my life was no longer just my own,” says my friend Benjamin.

If you’ve got kids, you’re a grown up. Derr.

For another friend and father of two Conor, the realisation caught him rather off guard.

“It was about three or four months after my first child was born and I was changing her nappy. Suddenly it kicked in ‘holy sh*t, I’m responsible for this little thing for the next 20 years’.”

You don’t need me to tell you that having kids is a big responsibility but one thing is for sure, if you do, they are going to think you are ‘one of the grown-ups’ regardless of how you choose to behave.

YOUR HANGOVERS ARE LIKE DEATH WARMED UP AND LAST MORE THAN A DAY

Remember when you could drink beer, wine, vodka and do tequila shots until 4am and still make it to work by 8am, feeling a little dusty but otherwise fine after a cup of coffee? Chances are you also bragged that “I don’t get hangovers”.

Ha! Now a big night can leave you bedridden and hugging the toilet bowl for two days straight. Sadly growing up generally means you just don’t bounce the way you used to.

Googles: ‘Can you die from a hangover?’

YOU’VE ACCEPTED THE FACT THAT YOU NOW HAVE TO PAY FOR INCREDIBLY BORING BUT NECESSARY ITEMS

There’s something about forking out $200 for a vacuum cleaner or replacing a bung iron that feels depressingly grown up. No 20-year-old in their right mind would ever dream of doing such a thing — that’s precious festival and beer money!

Paying your own car registration, health insurance and dental bills are also majorly boring symptoms of adulthood.

YOU ACTUALLY LIKE SITTING AT THE DINNER TABLE

As a child I remember thinking that being a grown up must be pretty dull (at times I still think this). Why would anyone want to sit at the dinner table any longer than was necessary?

I never understood why my parents would have people over for the sole purpose of having dinner together, or would sit at restaurants for what felt like eternity.

Dinner parties are the worst — until you suddenly find yourself loving them.

I always thought the most fun was to be had under the table on dirty restaurant floors where old gum was fair game and food was for playing with.

I guess there’s a reason why when you go out for dinner you don’t ever see ‘ice cream soup’ on the specials board.

YOU JUST GOT CALLED FOR JURY DUTY

It can be a terrifying realisation that you are now expected to appear in court, not because you did something wrong but because you have to help determine if someone else did.

It might get you out of the office for a few days or even weeks, but it’s generally considered one of the more ‘sucky’ tasks of being an adult.

Becoming a grown up really does include so many life events and responsibilities. As my friend Tom puts it, it’s “when you learn to compromise, swallow your pride, eat a good breakfast and stop being a f**kwit.” For others it is as simple as starting the next generation.

But in my mind no one ever really becomes a grown up, we all just get better at pretending.

Follow Isabel on Twitter @missizzyofficer