‘Dark secret hiding in my happy holiday snap’

Looking at this idyllic holiday photo, it’s easy to think the woman posing didn’t have a care in the world – but the snap masks a dark truth.

Looking at this idyllic holiday photo, it’s easy to think the woman posing in the beautiful blue ocean didn’t have a care in the world.

But behind the smile stretched across my face, I was in complete and utter strife.

You see, I was 7 weeks pregnant when this photo was snapped during a family holiday to the Maldives.

But despite the fact I was 28, in a relationship and had a “good” job – I knew I couldn’t go ahead with the pregnancy.

While a glance at my social media told a happy story, the reality was I was with a man who emotionally, and at times also physically, abused me.

Every bone in my body knew I couldn’t go through with the pregnancy because it meant I’d be tied to him forever.

A week later, I had an abortion.

It wasn’t an easy decision. In fact, I agonised over it for four weeks before I finally went to the clinic to have the procedure.

However afterwards, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief.

We split very soon after and I spent the next few years building myself back up from the shattered mess of a human I’d become.

The end of my three-year relationship was brutal and I fell into a very dark depression.

Most days, I struggled to get out of bed. When I made it to work, colleagues would take me to the pub to buy me a parmy because they knew it was the only meal I’d eat that week.

On my worst days, I’m ashamed to say now, I had suicidal thoughts.

I didn’t want to die, but I’d been made to feel so worthless during my relationship, I genuinely believed I should.

Thankfully, I got through it – but it was without a doubt the hardest time of my life.

I honestly don’t know what I would have done if I’d had to care for a child during that period. I was barely able to care for myself – let alone a baby.

But for many women in the US now, if they found themselves in a similar situation, this will be their reality after the Supreme Court overturned a landmark ruling that said a woman has a constitutional right to have an abortion on Friday.

Abortion rights activists march in protest after the overturning of Roe Vs. Wade by the US Supreme Court, in Denver, Colorado on June 24, 2022. Picture: Jason Connolly / AFP

Roe v Wade, has been in place since 1973, and provided women and people with uteruses the right to access safe abortions up until foetal viability.

It is now up to each individual state to determine whether women can have legal abortions, but so far, 26 states are either “certain or likely” to ban abortions, according to a research group’s findings.

Eight states have already legislated to ban abortion in all circumstances, including rape and incest.

As one Twitter user pointed out, this means in some states the penalty for aborting after rape is worse than the punishment the rapist will receive, declaring it a “war on women”.

When the penalty for aborting after rape is more severe than the penalty for rape, that's when you know it's a war on women

— Mohamad Safa (@mhdksafa) June 24, 2022

Despite the fact there are so many reasons women need access to abortions, the decision to do so is still shrouded in shame and stigma.

The overturning of Roe v Wade only perpetuates the idea that having a termination is “bad” when for many it is quite literally a lifesaving procedure.

As one woman pointed out on TikTok, people still think of abortions as a “solution” for unwanted pregnancies – and forget the procedure is also an important part of healthcare for those who want to have a child.

Ectopic pregnancies are commonly treated by performing an abortion to save the mother – while women pregnant with babies who are non-viable with life are often given the procedure to save them carrying to term and being forced to deliver a baby they will have to watch die.

There are so many reasons why a woman could need access to an abortion during her lifetime, and all of them are valid.

It’s what makes this ruling so abhorrently sickening.

Abbie Chatfield shared this photo, taken a day before she had an abortion aged 23, in response to the ruling. Picture: Instagram/AbbieChatfield

As influencer and podcast host Abbie Chatfield said, banning abortions positions women as “just vessels for potential life, not a form of life that already exists”.

“Anyone who is for this overturning is not pro life, they are anti choice,” she wrote in an emotive Instagram post following the ruling.

“People will die because of this ruling. Without a doubt.”

She’s one of many Australians who have expressed their shock and devastation at the decision, prompting some to ask how it affects us.

The procedure is legal in most states and territories, though there are various stipulations and accessibility issues to contend with.

Around one in six Australian women have had an abortion by their mid-30s, according to research published in the Australia New Zealand Journal of Public Health in 2019.

While it might seem like a stretch to imagine access to abortions could be taken away from us, the overturning of Roe v Wade could encourage anti-choice sentiment on our shores.

Dr Prudence Flowers, a senior lecturer in US history at Flinders University, said it will “likely embolden our own anti-abortion activists and politicians, who can question public provision of abortion, push for additional legal and medical regulations, and seek to revise laws by emphasising US talking points”.

“It ensures abortion is not viewed as healthcare, that anti-choice rhetoric is amplified in mainstream media, and that abortion patients and providers are further stigmatised,” she wrote in a piece for The Conversation.

“Cumulatively, these tactics have a chilling effect that will likely make access to abortion even harder.”

I’m 36 now, and despite having hopes of becoming a mum one day, I have no regrets. Picture: Rebekah Scanlan/news.com.au

It’s been eight years since my abortion. I’m now 36, single, and have talked openly about my hopes of one day becoming a mum. But even knowing the likelihood that will happen for me now is slim, I have no regrets about my decision.

There was no way I could I bring a baby into the mess I was in back then.

As this situation unfolds in the US, I feel so thankful I had access to a safe and legal abortion when I needed one, and feel nothing but fear for the women living through it in America.

One medical professional made a chilling prediction online that the ruling will see the return of backstreet abortions and an increase in the deaths of desperate women.

It’s an absolutely horrifying forecast, and a huge step backwards for women, one we would never choose for ourselves.