Bonkers housemate demands for Sydney share house roasted

A Sydney roommate ad that bans basic household items like couches and lights has gone viral as it’s compared to a “cult”.

When looking for a new roommate, most people are happy with someone who pays their rent on time and cleans up after themselves.

But not this housemate hunter, who recently begun a bizarre quest to find roommates who want to squat instead of sit on a couch and who would be happy to go without electrical lights and frozen food.

In a post shared in Sydney Inner West Housemates, the downright wacky request starts out normal enough with the user writing that they are looking for “4-5 people to join me in starting a share house that maximises happiness and success”.

But then things take a turn, with the poster writing that there is an “evil monster” that is “sucking away our potential” called “INSTANT GRATIFICATION”. Okay …

The Facebook post generated plenty of comments when it was shared on Twitter.

“There’s one area where instant gratification loses though, and that is peer pressure. Human beings are driven to belong in the tribe because being excluded meant, for thousands of years, certain death,” they wrote.

“So how do we take advantage of this amazing mechanism? By creating a share house that rewards good behaviour, duh!”

The poster then shared a handwritten list for his utopian share house and brace yourselves; it’s a lot.

A couch is banned with housemates needing to “squat instead”, no internet and no TV either, so any potentials will want to like to “meditate and read”.

“White light” also won’t be available in the house, with housemates to “get used to the dark”.

Cigarettes, alcohol, cannabis, refined sugar, frozen food and fast food are also prohibited, with those living at the house to consume “nutritious stuff instead”.

The insane list prohibits frozen food, a couch and TV. Picture: Facebook

“Daily smoothies as recommended by Rhonda. All chip in,” the poster explained.

To pass the time housemates will instead be able to use an “easily accessible and highly curated library of music, books and films (vinyl and projector maybe)”.

To be fair, some of the rules are actually fairly decent, with “screaming at others banned”, no noise after 11pm and housemates to get to know their neighbours and do “nice things” for the community.

It didn’t take long for the original post to be screenshot and shared on Twitter, where it, unsurprisingly, got quite the response.

This is absolutely how a cult begins. (via @cakechel) pic.twitter.com/WeJ8HKw6Di

— ℭ𝔬𝔲𝔯𝔱𝔫𝔢𝔶 (@courtwhip) August 27, 2019

I assume “no white light” means that my neon jack Daniels wall clock that I got for free at a bottleo is still fine.

— goulash slurpist (@TheFanciestLad) August 27, 2019

My prediction: assuming anyone even moves in, they flip authoritarian too hard too early and freak everyone out and then leave the house they created because nobody's being nice to them

— Guy Whom Doesnt Sleep In Racecar Bed w/Brown Rats (@k_morrissey) August 27, 2019

But what does he have against couches

— maddy (@ravingmaddy) August 27, 2019

I really want to know more about Rhonda's smoothies!

— Mike Wise (@wisey_9) August 27, 2019

I’d actually watch this. Like a Big Brother kind of show.

— Cr David Belcher (@davidbelcher) August 27, 2019

Naysayers aside, if the idea of squatting in the dark every night while drinking Rhonda’s smoothies (who is Rhonda anyway?) sounds appealing, there is some bad news.

The Facebook user ended the post by explaining the project is “still in the early stages” and they probably wouldn’t start the share house “for at least 6 months”, also adding one important fact.

“And btw I am not NBA superstar Kyrie Irving, thats (sic) just a picture I like,” they said.