30yo reveals question single Aussie men don’t ask anymore

A young Aussie who just returned from living in London has shared what men aren’t doing anymore and why it is a problem.

A young Aussie who just returned from living in London can’t believe how bad Australian dating has become.

Maddy Carty, 30, lived in London for seven years. She runs a talent agency called The Void and hosts the Mads World podcast about dating, sexuality, and feminism.

The 30-year-old has been single for three years and lives in Melbourne. She’s been shocked by how grim the dating scene is back in Australia.

“Dating as a 30-year-old in Australia is so hard,” she said.

“Not only is the dating pool so small, because there are fewer people, I guess, but the amount of effort Australian guys put in is insane – it is just nothing,” she said.

Maddy pointed out that dating in Australia is “hard.” Picture: Instagram/maddycarty

Maddy is stumped by what Aussie men don't ask anymore. Picture: Instagram/maddycarty

Ms Carty said Aussie men want to message you for months but never ask you out or attempt to meet up, and being on dating apps can still mean you don’t go on any dates.

Instead of meeting a new guy, she has a new random Instagram follower who feels more like a fan than a potential love interest.

“There seems to be no effort from men to want to get to know you or ask you any questions. Women are entering into dating with genuine intentions to understand or get to know someone, whereas men treat a date like they’re a guest on Oprah, and I’m Oprah,” she told news.com.au.

“Across the board, men can be pretty disrespectful in how they approach dating. Dinners with my girlfriends have turned into swapping war stories of terrible dating experiences.”

She often feels like it is her job to ask all the questions on dates. Picture: Instagram/maddycarty

Maddy reckons Men have gotten lazy when it comes to dating. Picture: Instagram/maddycarty

Ms Carty reckons men’s lack of effort when it comes to dating stems from our culture of instant gratification culture.

We can now all order food and it will arrive in half an hour, book a holiday in an instant, and message whoever and whenever. This creates a culture of not investing in something but instead easily discarding something or someone and moving onto the next thing.

“Men have adopted a lazy approach to dating and, as a result, would rather hang out with their mates, go play sports or stick to messaging the same women for months rather than actually meet up,” she said.

She’s also found that men aren’t keen to ask you for your number and then immediately ask you out on a date. Instead, they are likely to ask for a social media account and request a photo instead of making a dinner reservation.

“It’s common in Australia for men to immediately ask for your Snapchat, which is a huge turn off for a lot of women. It has quite sexual connotations and sets the tone pretty quickly. It also gives me the ick and feels outdated,” she explained.

She said men asking for her Snapchat gives her the “ick.” Picture: Instagram/maddycarty

The 30-year-old also thinks there’s a culture in Australia that always assumes women are looking for something serious and to settle down, and that just isn’t the case.

“A lot of men approach dating as though they have the upper hand, or with the underlying belief that any woman they communicate with wants something more serious than them,” she said.

“This is due to the notion that all women want is to settle down and start a family. It’s a stereotype that’s just not true, and it comes from outdated beliefs.:

At the end of the day, even though she hasn’t been home for long, she’s already found Australia’s dating scene a disaster.

“Dating in Australia can make you feel a sense of hopelessness. It can make you doubt yourself and ask, ‘will I have to settle for someone who doesn’t treat me well? Someone I’m not even attracted to?”