Model reveals sad truth about being plus-size over the holidays

A Sydney model has opened up about the harsh realities of being a plus-size woman, sharing the “irritating” comments she gets about her body.

Christmas and New Year’s Eve are some of the most highly anticipated and celebrated events of the year.

Seeing loved ones, opening presents, eating delicious food and enjoying a sneaky drink — or five — is on the agenda for a lot of us.

But for many others, this time brings with it a wave of anxiety, depression and loneliness.

Sydney plus-size model Sarah Jane Kelly is no stranger to these feelings and has revealed some of the “fatphobic” comments people make around this time of year.

“These types of holidays can evoke anxiety in plus-size people,” the content creator and youth worker told news.com.au.

“There have been times I’ve had family members make comments about my body at this time of year.

“The first would have been when I was around six years old and my grandmother asked if my new year’s resolution was to lose some weight.

“Sometimes its more subtle like when an aunt tells me about some new amazing diet I just have to try.”

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Sarah spoke to news.com.au about the pressures plus-size people can face at Christmas. Picture: Instagram / @learningtolovesarah

Sarah works as a plus-size model. Picture: Instagram / @learningtolovesarah

Growing up in a bigger body, the 28-year-old has forever been subjected to the problematic behaviour that can arise – albeit innocently – from friends and family.

And while she recognises that not all comments have malicious intent behind them, they can still be damaging to people struggling with their weight or eating disorders.

She has since learnt how to deal with these types of behaviours.

“I have needed to excuse myself from a lot of these interactions, most of the time it is said with good intention but just misinformed,” she said.

“Sometimes I challenge comments and point out the absurdity of what they’ve said, which can be a chance to educate.

“For example, if someone says ‘You’ve lost weight what’s your secret?’ I’ll say ‘trauma’.

“Or if someone says ‘Have you lost weight? You look amazing!’ I’ll reply with ‘Nope, still fat. Still amazing!’.

“It’s really important to remember it is OK to set boundaries and reinforce them.”

Sarah has been an advocate for plus-size bodies. Picture: Instagram / @learningtolovesarah

She says it is important to stop negative talk about food and bodies. Picture: Instagram / @learningtolovesarah

Sarah explained that certain language around food at this time of year could be particularly harmful.

She said that it was easy for feelings of guilt and self-hatred to arise when speaking about food.

“You can’t get away from the fact that food plays a major role throughout the holidays,” she said.

“I can’t speak for other plus-size people, but I sometimes feel embarrassed when I eat. If I eat cake, people say ‘well of course the fat person if eating that’.

“Then if I want to eat my veggies, I’m told that I am ‘pretending to be healthy’.

“One of the most irritating types of comments is when people give morals to food. You’re not ‘bad’ for eating chocolate and you’re not ‘good’ for eating lettuce.

“Nutrients in food have no inherent morality. It’s important to strike a healthy middle ground.”

Another problematic issue that Sarah points out, is when people speak of their fear of “getting fat” around Christmas, alongside the desire to lose weight once the new year arrives.

“The statement that someone is ‘feeling fat’ is another one,” Sarah explained.

“This idiom is used all year round, but during the holiday season it is amplified. Fat isn’t a feeling. Nobody says ‘I’m feeling so skinny’ after having a salad.

“That widespread fear of ‘getting fat’ is destructive, not just to plus-size people but everyone. The fear of getting fat shouldn't be a high priority for people.”

Sarah uses her platform to raise awareness of body diversity. Picture: Instagram / @learningtolovesarah

She has gained a following for being raw and honest about her body. Picture: Instagram / @learningtolovesarah

“Being a terrible person should surely be considered more important than gaining a few kilos.

“It also reinforces the idea that we need to earn our food or work it off, rather than enjoy it.”

Sarah said anyone hosting or attending Christmas or New Year events should be mindful and set certain ground rules.

“No harmful food or body talk is important,” she said.

“If the conversation steers towards body image, try to change the subject or reinforce body positive talk.

“Another thing that people don’t talk about is seating. Seats without arm rests, and that are sturdy are ideal for events where people are getting together.

“Speak about a person’s positive attributes, like their kindness or fashion sense, rather than their appearance is great too.

“It is important to be mindful of our self-talk, particularly when we’re giving those thoughts a voice. This can be especially damaging around young children as they form their own self-perceptions.

“Your body doesn’t determine your worth as a person or the amount of respect and love you deserve.

“Be kind to yourself, take time when you need it and remember that you are allowed to take up space in the world.”