What Monica Lewinsky’s comeback can teach us all

IF MONICA Lewinsky being back in the spotlight can teach us anything, it’s that you really can turn your life around, no matter how much you stuff up.

What Monica Lewinsky’s comeback can teach us

MONICA Lewinsky is having her moment. And, with a highly regarded essay in Vanity Fair and a TED talk with nearly 3 million views and counting, it is a very different ‘moment’ than the one that first brought her to global attention seventeen years ago.

Once known as ‘that woman’, the intern who had an affair with the then President of the United States, Lewinsky has re-emerged as a social activist advocating for victims of online bullying and as someone to be respected and admired.

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - FEBRUARY 22: Designer Monica Lewinsky attends the 2015 Vanity Fair Oscar Party hosted by Graydon Carter at Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts on February 22, 2015 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images)

While few of us will ever need to reinvent our lives after a scandal of the scale Lewinsky endured, the lessons we can learn from her about how to turn your life around, can be applied to a more ‘everyday’ kind of crisis: being fired from your job or being embroiled in a workplace scandal, discovering your partner has been unfaithful or being caught in an illicit affair, getting drunk and behaving regretfully at a work or social function, or finding out you have been betrayed or humiliated by someone you thought you could trust.

In the article she wrote for Vanity Fair, Lewinsky talked about how it was time for her to take responsibility for her future. She said, “I’ve decided, finally, to stick my head above the parapet so that I can take back my narrative and give a purpose to my past.”

Regardless of why life as you once knew it no longer exists, you too, get to decide what you want your future to look like.

Follow these five steps to turning your life around whatever the circumstances:

1. Don’t be a victim

Try not to over-personalise your circumstances. It is unlikely that you are the first person this has happened to and just as unlikely that you will be the last. No matter how painful the situation is right now, make the decision not to let it define your future.

2. Be honest

Be honest with yourself and take responsibility for the choices that led you to where you are now. Life is rarely one-sided and while this doesn’t mean you should blame yourself unnecessarily, it’s important you own up to how you contributed to your situation.

3. Make a decision

Make the commitment to move on with your life. While you may need time to grieve or adjust to the change in your circumstances it’s important that you commit to the future you want to create and start thinking about what it will take to make it your reality.

4. Believe in yourself

Remind yourself that regardless of what is happening in your life right now, you deserve to be happy and in time, you will be happy once again. Don’t wait until your self-confidence has returned before you start making changes in your life. Rebuild your self-esteem by taking small steps towards your new life.

5. Be brave

Taking responsibility for your future will require courage and integrity. Instead of trying to hide from what has happened, earn people’s respect by being open and honest about your situation. Make your apologies if necessary and remind yourself that turning your life around won’t always be easy but it will be worth it.

Writer and life coach Domonique Bertolucci.

Domonique Bertolucci is a life coach and the author of The Kindness Pact. You can follow her on Facebook and Twitter @fromDomonique