Fiona Falkiner on the scene that haunts her to this day: ‘How I became a model’

When Fiona Falkiner was tapped on the shoulder at the gym, she never realised it would be the catalyst for a scene that still haunts her.

Fiona Falkiner is no stranger to the concept of transformation. In 2006, Falkiner applied successfully to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser, and she was hoping losing the weight would make her happy. But following major success on the show, she found herself spiralling into a deep depression. Here, she talks about life before, during and after living the reality TV juggernaut.

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I was given my first makeup pallet when I was seven and from that day I was obsessed with makeup.

I would paint anyone and everyone’s faces. In Year 12, I just assumed I would do a makeup course when I finished school. But, once I got my results back my parents decided I needed to follow in my sister’s footsteps and head to university so I could get a “proper job” … ugh!

It took me a longtime to have the confidence to back myself and do what it is I was passionate about.

I quit my job and enrolled in a makeup course. I even managed to stand my ground through a tough and teary conversation with Dad when I told him what I was doing. I shut down the ‘Fiona don’t be ridiculous you won’t make money in that job’ statements and pushed through. It was never going to be easy but I knew that.

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I got a job in a pub while I was studying and it sucked but I didn’t care. Sure I hated working until 3 or 4am and being faced with drunk patrons asking me if I was the girl off The Biggest Loser, but it was helping me get to where I wanted to be and oddly enough that’s all that mattered. I was just really happy knowing I was on the right path to having the career I was passionate about.

One day I was at the gym and I got a tap on the shoulder, a lady introduced herself and said she had a modelling agency and said she would love to sign me. When she told me confidently she would have me modelling full time within a year I laughed it off and thought she was talking it up and just wanted to sign me to the agency.

Me modelling? LOL!

She told me about the rates and even if I got the odd job here and there I thought stuff it, the extra cash would be handy. So, I signed up. I did a few test shoots and I was off and running.

I still remember one of my first castings. It was for shapewear…great.

For those of you who don’t know what shapewear is, it’s the tummy tuckers and body suckers worn under clothes to smooth out and hold all the bits in place. It’s basically like a lycra body suit.

I arrived and sat outside nervously looking at the other girls in the waiting area before quickly realising I was the only ‘plus size’ model in the room. I started to panic, had my agency made a mistake? Was I at the wrong casting?

I started sweating – I’m talking top lip and chin sweat, back of the neck sweat, boob sweat…I basically was a human puddle.

I nervously tried to text my agent to ask if I was in the right place but just then my name was called.

I entered the room and introduced myself and the girl smiled and asked me for my size. I’m a 16, sometimes a 14 but to be safe for shapewear I said I was a 16.

She rifled through a pile of options and said sadly they only had samples in a medium and asked if I would be happy to try it on anyway.

The scene that followed haunts me to this day.

Trying to remain calm, I agreed while looking at the tiny piece of Lycra thinking, “how on earth am I going to get this tiny piece of fabric on?”

I started taking off my clothes, trying to be graceful while the woman just stared at me. I was dying inside.

I stepped in to the garment and started to pull and tug at it, actually having to tuck parts of my body in, jumping on the spot to wriggle it on.

I was so embarrassed but finally I got the stupid thing on and did my best to pose for some photos while trying to act natural like I knew what I was doing.

I quickly realised I was going to have to get this thing off in front of her. Another horror scene.

Falkiner initially laughed at the idea of becoming a model. Picture: Supplied.

After a rough start, Falkiner’s modelling career took off.

Trying to protect my modesty I began to wriggle the damn thing off, but of course my underwear went with it and it became like a giant rubber band stuck to me. Finally I got it off, but by that point I looked like a Christmas ham. I left the casting feeling pretty humiliated and to top it off I did not book the job. I would need to grow a thicker skin to make it in the modelling world.

It was around this time I realised I was going to have to change my attitude towards myself if I was going to be able to do this job. For so long I cared so much about what other people thought about me and I would compare my body to others.

I finally came to the conclusion that really the only opinions that I cared about were those of the people who mattered, who I loved and cared about, my friends and family.

I was doing all the right things, I was training and taking care of my body. It was at this point I truly accepted my curves, my stretch marks, my cellulite. When I finally just let go and accepted my body, something incredible happened — I actually started booking jobs!

Slowly at first, a small two hour catalogue shoot here and there, but soon came the bigger jobs.

I got campaign shoots, which turned to overnight shoots that had me travelling a few times a month. I ended up getting so busy with modelling that couldn’t juggle my shoots and make-up work so I decided to model full time.

Now, when I say full time I was probably working about 4 or 5 days a week, but there was also plenty of quiet times. There are times when you look at your diary and you have no bookings for a week, sometimes two weeks and you think, “this is it, no one will ever book me again”.

It’s extremely hard to remain calm and have the belief in yourself that the work will come. Social media makes this process even harder. I remember my quiet times scrolling through my Insta seeing all my friends on shoots, I was happy for them but also there was a tiny bit of jealousy as you wanted those gigs because you also had bills to pay.

It also made it hard when you had family questioning your career choices. I stuck with it through the quiet times and all, I had a friend who was a freelance stylist and we would call each other during our quiet times and give each other little pep talks so we would stick with it and not get disheartened.

Those small things help and for me it paid off, I got really busy for about three years. I was modelling for lots of the plus size brands here in Australia.

My sister would even go to her local shopping centre and would take photos of her kids outside the giant posters of me in each of the windows. Pretty cool!

Life was great, I was busy modelling, I was sleeping, my anxiety was at bay, I was happy living in Bondi — I felt like I was living the dream.

I turned 30 and I had a friend give me a session with a psychic … well that one little thing turned my whole world upside down!

Fiona Falkiner is a model, presenter and former Biggest Loser contestant. Follow her journey on Instagram @fionafalkiner