Every adult in Australia must sign this petition right now

We are calling on you, every adult in Australia, to speak up for those too small to speak up for themselves.

Right now, thousands of families are reeling in horror following media report after report of sexual abuse and molestation allegations coming out of daycare centres across our early childcare industry.

There isn’t an Australian state or territory which has not been impacted by this issue and in some cases we are reading reports of single offenders being accused of abusing over 50 children, all while masquerading as well-meaning early childcare professionals.

As a parent of a four-year-old in childcare, it chills me to the bone.

But there is one voice, which – until today – has been virtually absent from this public conversation: the voice of children themselves.

It will be years before we ever hear from the children who are alleged to have been victimised by men who were supposed to be caring for them, like Ashley Paul Griffith.

It will be years before they are old enough to waive their right to anonymity.

Years before they can make sense of what has happened to them.

And years before we will ever learn their perspectives and valuable insights into how predators might operate, and what we can do to both spot them and stop them.

And we don’t have years.

This is a problem we needed to fix yesterday.

Which is why today’s reporting featuring Laura-Jane Singh (LJ) and Hailey* is so important.

Both of these incredible women have endured unspeakable evil. And both have courageously waived their right to anonymity to speak out and provide us with those critical insights and lessons – at tremendous personal cost – because they don’t want to waste another day.

Both women are mothers too.

And they have each spent more than 25 years being silenced. But no more.

Hailey and LJ want change and now they are calling on you – on every adult in Australia – to sign the petition demanding an overhaul to safety standards in our early child care industry.

After all, as a community we cannot put it on the shoulders of children who are too young to even tie their own shoelaces to lead this change.

As adults it is our responsibility to speak up, and sign on behalf of those who cannot.

LJ and Hailey are speaking up on behalf of those who can’t speak. Picture: Nikki Short/news.com.au

The two women were five and eight when they were first abused in a daycare setting. Picture: Supplied/news.com.au

As a parent myself, I’ll never forget the first day I dropped my young son off at daycare and left him.

He was less than two years old, and as I heard the gate shut and him wailing for me, my heart broke.

It’s an act of trust parents and carers make every day when we drop our kids off, and while it does get easier, the blind leap of faith involved is always tremendous.

What made that first day of childcare so much more difficult – and memorable – for me is that it was also my first day back at work following an extended maternity leave.

And on that first day back I happened to be interviewing parents of two girls who had been sexually abused in a family day care setting.

I’ve never forgotten a moment of how that day unfolded. Nor the advice the father gave me, parent-to-parent, during the breaks.

He said: “As a parent always be unpredictable, turn up at times they are not expecting you. Change your routine. Don’t become set in your pattern.”

He also told me that listening to my child means more than just listening to my child’s words.

One thing I’ve learnt having spent almost two decades reporting sexual abuse is that abused children will often tell us, but they wont necessarily tell us in ways which adults automatically recognise as a disclosure.

After all, as adults we understand the gravity and seriousness of sexual assault and we have the language to discuss it.

But as survivor Hailey asks us today: “How are children supposed to report sexual abuse if they don’t yet speak, or if no one has offered them the language to describe what’s going on?”

Another thing I’ve noted across my career is that because adults have strategies for discussing very serious concerns, we often make the mistake of subconsciously assuming that children will mirror those same strategies if they have something serious to say to us.

So for example, a parent might subconsciously assume that a child would wait for a calm quiet moment after dinner, when no other distractions were present, to sit the parent down and methodically lay out the problem using specific examples and detail.

But that is often not the case.

As Hailey explains: “I remember being pulled from the car screaming to go there, and I think that’s what people need to understand: children might tell you but they’re going to tell you the only way they know how.

“When the abuse first started I didn’t even have a word for abuse or sex. I didn’t have those words, but … there were other signs, bed wetting at ages where it’s beyond a regular occurrence and withdrawal from school, withdrawal from friends.”

The remote house where David Tuck ran the family day care centre where LJ and Hailey were abused. Picture: Supplied/news.com.au

There have been allegations of serious and prolific child abuse at care facilities in Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne and now Batemans Bay. Picture: Supplied

Hailey also says that children pick their moment to disclose based on factors like when they feel bold enough to speak – which may or may not happen to coincide with a calm, quiet moment in their parent’s life.

I’ve heard many stories where a child attempts to disclose but is tragically shut down: one child chose the moment her mum was straining boiling pasta to try to disclose.

Another found that spark of courage during the stress and chaos of the morning rush out the front door.

Another child, who was nine, thought she had disclosed about the sexual abuse she was experiencing from her male babysitter, when she told her parents: “I don’t like him and I don’t ever want him to come over again.”

For her, that was the strongest language in her vocabulary.

And many of us will remember the heartbreaking story of five-year-old Rose Milthorpe who was being sexually abused by an adult family friend.

One day, after returning from a playdate at her abuser’s home, Rose pulled off her superhero cape, threw it on the ground and stomped on it.

When her parents asked her what was wrong, she revealed she was angry because her superhero cape was meant to keep her invisible, but that “it didn’t work”.

This is how children tell us.

And it is our job to listen.

And more than that, it is our job to act.

Rose Milthorpe bravely spoke out about her abuse. Picture: Supplied/news.com.au

Rose has since reclaimed her power, and her cape. Picture: Supplied/news.com.au

Because it is not appropriate to put it on children to have to advocate for change.

It’s not acceptable for us to put it on their tiny shoulders to push for the safety that should have been theirs to begin with.

It is our responsibility to stand up, and stand with Hailey, LJ, Rose and every child who has ever been sexually abused.

It is our job to make the next generation safe.

SIGN THE PETITION HERE TO PROTECT CHILDREN

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Nina Funnell is a Walkley Award winning freelance journalist who specialises in reporting sexual violence.

*Surname withheld for privacy reasons.