Cassandra Thorburn’s money woes

Cassandra Thorburn shares how she survived her public divorce to Karl Stefanovic and why financial necessity drove her back to work.

My daughter recently forwarded me an Instagram post she had come across: “If you want to know what a mum’s brain is like, imagine your laptop with 5471 tabs open. All. The. Time.”

I laughed, the kind of nervous laugh Mums often have when something is funny, but it’s so close to the bone, it’s awkward too.

Growing up, I don’t think I really ever thought about how hard motherhood was for my mum. She clearly sheltered me from it — or is it that in the age of Google and memes, our children are unable to avoid hearing about it?

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We talk a lot about the juggle that is balancing work and home life when you’re a mother, but in recent years, mine has been a little different.

Cass was a guest on the Kidspot podcast, The Juggling Act. Listen to her full interview below

Cass Thorburn and her son, Jackson.

MY DECISION, BUT NOT MY TERMS

My family broke down, and I’ve had to navigate making my way back into the workforce — not because it felt right, but out of financial necessity. I had always planned to re enter, but I’d thought it would be on my terms.

I found myself not only engaged in the practical struggle of balancing motherhood and work out of the home, but of doing it while balancing my kids’ emotions about the divorce — and in the beginning, my own as well.

During the divorce of their parents, kids are thrown into a whirlwind of emotion. Not only have they been through the tremendous change that is a parent leaving the family home, they often then have to move houses themselves. They suddenly have different days and times to spend time with their parents. Two bedrooms, two homes and often a step-parent or two.

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Cass Thorburn on re-entering the workforce. Picture: News Corp

EVERYTHING I DO, I DO IT FOR THE KIDS

Before separation I did not think about how my children would feel about me trying to re enter the workforce. My younger children had known me not as a full time working mum, but instead as someone who volunteered my time in their schools. This of course meant I was available to them, all the time.

For me, re-entering the workforce started with enrolling in a course. With a friend I then wrote a children’s book. My aim was to ease the kids into having a working mum. Just like I did when I chose to be a stay-at-home mum for all those years, I took the plunge back into working life for the same reason — for the benefit of my family.

When Dancing with the Stars came up, a full- time gig but for three only 3 months, I took it. I am sure many single mums could relate to this position. It was a means to an end. I needed a car and I needed to try and change the dialogue that surrounded me.

My divorce may be viewed as public, but I assure you that every mother who has been through a divorce has had to deal with the gossip surrounding the split.

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Dancing With The Stars 2019 full cast — Jimmy Rees, Cassandra Thorburn, Constance Hall, Miguel Maestre, Olympia Valance, Curtly Ambrose, Michelle Bridges, Denise Scott, Samuel Johnson, Courtney Act and Jett Kenney. Supplied by Network 10

YOU’LL NEVER STOP THE GOSSIP

Regardless of whether you separate publicly or in your own community, the dialogue is there. It’s at the school gate. You feel it. It makes the once love of going, a nightmare. Confront it. Tackle it head on. They’re talking about your separation. They’re talking about your children. You are not a victim. You are in a different position, you’re possibly juggling the task of re entering the workforce. You’re without doubt putting your children first. Say that. Come straight out and say it.

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If you’re not a single mum and you express sympathy for us, yes, it isn’t easy, but we are not victims. We are navigating a change in life we didn’t imagine when we had our children, but we are doing our best.

If you’re a single mum, stand tall. You are doing it. This is not a competition, it’s a juggling act and you’re not alone.

— Cassandra Thorburn is a television presenter and commentator

This article originally appeared on Kidspot.com.au and was reproduced with permission