The rise of Mean Girls: Covert bullying, backstabbing and exclusion are increasing among teen girls

MEAN girls are resorting to ‘covert’ bullying tactics across Australia. Now Neighbours star Lilly Van Der Meer reveals how she was personally taunted.

Actor and model Lilly Van Der Meer has told of her painful experience being ‘covertly’ bullied at high school. Picture: Supre

BACKSTABBING, exclusion and discreet taunting — ‘covert’ bullying is on the rise among teenage girls in Australia.

Girls are more likely to be ‘covertly’ bullied than boys, with subtle taunting such as spreading rumours a growing issue facing Aussie teens.

Young girls are a third more likely to be bullied in a discreet, Mean Girls-esque manner than their male counterparts, according to a study of 20,000 teens commissioned by Supre and Headspace.

Fashion chain Supre and youth mental health agency Headspace have today launched a joint campaign — including the book Bullying. So Not OK — to tackle the problem, fronted by Neighbours star Lilly Van Der Meer.

Neighbours star Lilly Van Der Meer is the face of the Supre Foundation's anti-bullying campaign, ‘Bullying. So Not OK’. Picture: Supre

While cyber bullying is still a major concern, “covert” bullying in the schoolyard is increasing among teenage girls, who are also the main targets of social media trolls, the study showed.

And of those targeted by cyber bullies, 87 per cent also reported being taunted in real life — not just on the internet.

Bullying behaviour was more likely to be “physical, meaner and nastier” during lunch and recess breaks, the study revealed.

And in the classroom, respondents indicated the behaviours were “sneakier” and more calculated, such as “note-passing”.

‘IT GOT TO THE POINT WHERE I BROKE DOWN’

Lilly Van Der Meer has revealed the painful covert bullying she experienced at high school that left her in tears.

The model, Neighbours actor and Supre ambassador, 17, was taunted as recently as last year.

“It was discreet bullying — I was in a group of girls and we were really happy, a close group of friends, and then it changed and I wasn’t good enough to be in their group any more,” Van Der Meer said, of being bullied for the first time at the age of 13.

“They all started to turn on me but in a very deceiving way, where teachers and other students couldn’t really see it. It was their word againt mine and six against one,” she told News Corp Australia.

“These girls were straight-A students, the perfect group. So it was difficult for my view to be seen by everyone else.”

‘I am a girl’. An excerpt from Supre‘s new anti-bullying campaign book, ‘Bullying. So Not OK’. Picture: Supre

Then last year, when she was 16, Van Der Meer was targeted again.

Van Der Meer said some of her classmates “were just picking on me the whole time” during drama class.

“It got to that point where I’d walk into class and do a performance and they wouldn’t clap for me, but they’d clap for everybody else,” she said.

Van Der Meer said the bullies taunted her with nasty slurs: “‘Oh your performance is so bad, why do you want to do acting? Pick another career’”.

“It got to the point where I broke down and cried to my teacher and one of the girls walked in and saw me, and from then on, after that, every time I’d walk past her she’d be like, ‘Don’t cry, Lilly.’”

LILLY’S ADVICE

Van Der Meer — who plays Xanthe Canning on Neighbours — said she learnt to stand up for herself ... a lesson she wants other young girls to learn.

“When you’re in school, it’s your world. When you go home, you see them online,” Van Der Meer said.

“You never really escape the world that is school. And even now, I’m like, wow, none of that really mattered.”

Van Der Meer, who has nearly 50,000 followers on Instagram, said she was also targeted by social media trolls. Her advice? Just delete them.

“I didn’t really understand how people could sit there, behind computer screens, and write something so awful when they didn’t know you.

“You get a lot on Facebook, so I just don’t look at the comments.

“On my personal Instagram if someone says something mean I just delete the comment and that’s it.”

She has a powerful message for teen girls who are being bullied. “It’s so important to believe in yourself. I didn’t know what that was, I didn’t know how to do that,” Van Der Meer said.

“I didn’t think I was being bullied seriously, even though I was, I was blinded by the facade of it all.”

She said the book Bullying. So Not OK would be there for girls who needed advice and “when I thought I didn’t have anyone else.”

“Just keep following your dreams and doing what you want to do. After high school, you’ll probably never see those people again.”

Supre, Headspace and Telethon Kids Institute have launched a new book to tackle bullying among teenagers. Picture: Supre

THE RISE OF ‘COVERT’ BULLYING

Headspace head of clinical practice Vikki Ryall said covert bullying was “less overt bullying where it’s leaving people out, speaking behind their backs, (and) passing notes”.

“Not being mean, teasing them, pushing — it’s a less visible form of bullying,” Ryall said.

“In terms of bullying literature, covert bullying is something that is reasonably recently identified. It does tend to me increasing in frequency.”

So what is the solution? Be assertive and stand up for those who are being bullied in a covert manner, Ryall said.

“If someone is signalling someone out or spreading rumours about them, then to say, ‘I don’t think that’s OK,’” Ryall said.

“That’s a really helpful role young people can play in protecting young people.”

Bullying. So Not OK is available at supre.com.au.