Sisters In Law: Gamer son’s ‘violent’ act against siblings

He’s 19 and finished school two years ago – but instead of getting a job or going to uni, he plays games all day and terrorises his family by night.

He’s 19 and finished school two years ago – but instead of getting a job or going to uni, he plays games all day and terrorises his family by night.

Welcome to Sisters In Law, news.com.au’s weekly column solving all of your legal problems. This week, our resident lawyers and real-life sisters Alison and Jillian Barrett from Maurice Blackburn tackle your legal rights when it comes to violent and abusive family members.

QUESTION: My oldest child is out of control. He is violent, has caused hundreds of dollars of damage to our home, and has physically threatened me and his younger siblings. I am a single mum and can’t live like this anymore.

He is 19, doesn’t have a job and stays in his room playing video games all day. I have asked him to move out numerous times, but it is only met with more threats and physical outbursts.

I now feel like I am at the point where I have to act for my safety and the safety of my other children. But how do I proceed with kicking him out when he won’t go voluntarily?

Kelly, VIC

ANSWER: Kelly, rest assured you are not alone in your experience and there are steps you can take. With your son being an adult, your parental obligations to him, including ensuring he has a roof over his head, have ceased.

It is understandable that you are concerned for his welfare, however you need to balance that with your own welfare and that of your other children.

The incidence of family violence, or threats of family violence occur at disturbing rates across Australia, predominantly affecting women and children.

Alarmingly, these statistics may be much higher as victims are often too scared to make a report.

The law can protect you and your affected children, and there two legal avenues you need to be aware of, firstly relating to family violence, and secondly with respect to your rights as a homeowner or tenant.

While it may seem extreme to take action against your son, you have correctly identified that you need to prioritise your and your children’s safety and we recommend you apply for a family violence order.

A family violence intervention order will protect you and your children from your son’s violent and abusive behaviour.

Family violence is any behaviour between family members that causes fear. It is not limited to physical violence, and can be harmful behaviour that is used to control, threaten or dominate a family member through fear.

RELATED: Secret plot that could get renters evicted

RELATED: Is my plan for my ex’s belongings legal?

RELATED: Neighbours shocking act after dog bit child

What can a parent do when their 18-year-old child plays video games all day, doesn’t have a job and physically threatens your family?

If your children are witness to this behaviour or you fear for their safety, they are also protected by the law.

You can make an application for a family violence order at your local magistrates’ court.

If the situation becomes urgent and you need immediate protection, you should call the police who can arrest your son, remove him from your home and issue a family violence safety notice.

In urgent situations you or the police can also apply for an interim intervention order which will cover you for a short period of time until the matter can be heard in court.

The police may apply for this order even if you don’t want them to, as they need to prioritise your and your children’s safety.

The order can include a variety of conditions to prevent your son from using family violence. If the court thinks it appropriate, conditions around contacting you, approaching you, your home or place of work can be placed on your son.

You can ask the court for specific orders to specify that your son can no longer reside in your home if you feel this is necessary to keep you safe.

Assuming this order is made, the police can assist in being present when your son comes to collect his things and ensuring you are not hurt or your property is not damaged

Most importantly, if your son breaks any of the conditions of the order, he can be arrested and charged with a criminal offence.

Legal Aid assistance may be available to you in this situation.

If you choose not to go down this path, you may have other rights as a homeowner or tenant.

It is unclear if you own or rent your home, either way you have the right to say who lives in your home and your son is refusing to adhere to your requests that he leave.

An alternate path you can take is with the assistance of a community support group or community justice centre who may be willing to intervene and hold a mediated discussion between you and your son to resolve the dispute.

During this discussion it is always sensible to provide a realistic time frame for him to move out and explore what support or assistance he may need to ensure this happens.

If these informal measures are unsuccessful the law can assist.

If your son pays rent, board or contributes to the family home in some way (for example doing maintenance on the home) he may be considered a tenant, which means you need to follow the process relating to landlords and tenants.

This requires formal process to be followed which includes completing a Notice to Vacate and applying to the Civil and Administrative Tribunal.

Assuming your son is not a tenant or boarder, after asking him to leave he has no legal right to be in your home and will be trespassing which is a criminal offence.

In this situation you should also call the police, there are times when they will be reluctant to get involved in what they see as a private dispute, however with violence involved we expect they will intervene.

You should ensure that when your son leaves you immediately change the locks so he cannot return.

This legal information is general in nature and should not be regarded as specific legal advice or relied upon. Persons requiring particular legal advice should consult a solicitor.

If you have a legal question you would like Alison and Jillian to answer, please email [e-mail]

Get more from Alison and Jillian on their Facebook page