Carrie Bickmore thought she ‘failed’ allowing her son to walk to school: I did the same and have no regrets

CARRIE Bickmore thought she made a parenting ‘fail’ by allowing her son to walk to school: I did the same and don’t regret it at all

I’m with Carrie Bickmore: possibly as far away from ‘helicopter’ parenting as possible but that doesn’t make you any less a parent

OPINION

Seriously, hop out of your silly little choppers, and let kids live actual lives.

Let them walk to school, run down to the shops and play in the park without thinking you are putting them directly in front of clear and present dangers.

The helicopter parent syndrome hit The Project’s host Carrie Bickmore last night who, like most sensible parents do, actually does leave her child to his own active devices. Wait for it. Carrie let her beautiful nine-year-old son Ollie actually walk to school. Cue the outrage.

And get this. He was on his own.

I just can’t believe The Project’s co-host and mother-of-two even needed to address and contemplate she had possibly done anything wrong.

When Ollie was much, much younger and her with his mumma, The Project’s Carrie Bickmore. Pic: Supplied

Apparently another parent, who is a friend of Carrie’s, nicely asked if she had checked whether Ollie had actually made it to school.

“This is how much of a helicopter parent I am not,’’ she said.

“At lunchtime, I was with a friend and she said, ‘And he got there OK?’ And I was like, ‘Yeah, well, I don’t know, I think!’

Go Carrie! You are Parenting 101!!!

Kids — and we’re not talking kindy-age kids here — need to develop a sense of purpose, self-awareness and responsibility.

This over-protecting, over-parenting, helicoptering parent thing we constantly read and talk about really has to loosen up.

No-one is talking about making their 5-year-old walk to his or hers first day of school on their own or potentially allow a 7-year-old wander around a shopping mall on their own. Far from it.

Everyone has their own idea of parenting — and for some, mine may be not everyone’s cup of tea — but as I look at my young man, who never forgets to tell me he loves me after every phone call (and visa versa) I think we’ve done OK.

Carrie Bickmore in working parent mode. Picture: Julie Kiriacoudis

No matter where I am, my child’s wellbeing is always, always in the back of my mind — even as I write this in the office and he is on school holidays, he’s either sitting in front of his X-Box or shooting hoops at the local park.

Of course there is a fine-line in being ridiculously over-protective or allowing kids to go wildly free-range.

Parents cannot let every waking moment be ruled by worry. We can’t think that every move our children make without us in it is going to end in tragedy, a drama or an accident.

I am not so naive to think that there haven’t been tragic incidents when some kids have just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. But we cannot think that potential incidents are the norm when we leave our kids to do a few (learned and explained) things for themselves.

My son probably learnt to ‘grow up’ a bit faster than other kids I know — a (fortunately amicable) separation of two, fulltime working parents will do that to kids — but I am constantly in awe of his sense of self, of him staying and playing safe and of his measured self-confidence.

Much to my disappointment, he has even mastered the art of cooking ‘my’ spaghetti bolognese, the ome I always used to make for him. Now THAT really hurts.

My son Connor: back when he was happy to rock up to the odd work event with me at a Westfield mall. Umm. He’s happier at the mall on his own now. Pic: Supplied.

I allowed my son, at nine or ten, to walk home from school. I had a little ‘awww, he’s growing up’ moment, but we had the easy path pretty much mapped out. And he would often do it with a couple of other kids who lived around the area.

I never stressed and would just always remind him to watch one particualar set of lights where I would always notice some cars used to zoom around the green arrow sign ahead of time.

Now at nearly 15, he is nearly at the ‘would probably rather NOT be seen with me as opposed to being seen WITH me’ moment.

But I now that because both his dad and I have allowed him his own lifeline, as well as the one he wholeheartedly shares with us, he will continue to develop into an even more self-sufficient, resilient, independent and non-quitting young man. Just like his mum and dad.

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