Study finds most teenagers happy with parent relationship

THE moody teen may be a myth, according to a new report that suggests adolescents and their parents are bonding rather than bickering.

teenage angst

THE moody teen may be a myth, according to a new report from the Australian Institute of Family Studies that suggests adolescents and their parents are bonding rather than bickering.

The report, released today, examined trends from a range of studies and Census data from the past 20 years.

It found that 72 per cent of teenagers aged 15 to 17 were "highly satisfied" with the relationship they had with their parents.

Institute director Prof Alan Hayes said most young people and their parents were very happy with their relationship with one another.

"On a rating scale of zero to 10, most adolescents rank their parents at eight or above, indicating high levels of satisfaction with the quality of the relationship they have with their parents," he said.

The report also found most parents - 82 per cent of mothers and 71 per cent of fathers - were also highly satisfied with their relationships with their children.

Social analyst David Chalke said the report findings were unsurprising.

Teenagers still looked up to their parents, he said.

"Certainly the studies we've done with YouthSCAN show that the most important person in young people's lives is mum, the person they admire most is mum, the person they turn to most is mum," he said.

"We tend to view the relationship in adult terms and we forget that they are still highly dependent upon us, and while they've got the liberation of Facebook and Twitter and the blogosphere and all the rest of it, still mummy puts the food on the table, still mummy takes them shopping and buys their clothes, it is still mummy that patches them up and says, 'look, it's all right darling'."

The report found relationships with step-parents were less likely to be viewed so positively. Thirty-eight per cent of girls and 48 per cent of boys were highly satisfied with their relationships with step-parents.

The research showed, however, that 42 per cent of stepmothers and 57 per cent of stepfathers were highly satisfied with their relationships with their stepchildren.

Ella Tonkin, 15, of Aberfoyle Park, said she had a great relationship with her parents.

"I can talk to my parents about anything," she said.

"I really like the relationship with my mum because she is like my best friend ... We talk about everything together and we do everything together - shopping, going to the movies.

"I'm really satisfied with the relationship with my mum and my dad. We're very similar and we like the same things so that makes our relationship stronger."

Ella's mother, Bridie Tonkin, 38, said parenting a teenager had been challenging at times but communication was the key to their close relationship.

"She always talks to us about most things and we have fun together, which I think is a big part (of it) for us," she said.

"I think we are slightly uncool occasionally, but we give her own space and respect."

Mrs Tonkin, who is also mum to son Sam, 11, said she learnt a lot about parenting teenagers from her friends.

"I've got a few friends whose youngest is Ella's age and then they've got older kids ... so I've learnt from them how to best make that communication line open with Ella and not to sweat the small stuff.

"I want Ella to feel like there is nothing too big or too hard or too scary that she can't share with us," she said.

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