‘So sad’: Couple defend gender reveal reaction

A couple has taken to Tik Tok to defend their gender reveal reaction after they said they were “actually sad” to be having another girl.

A couple has defended their initial feelings of disappointment when they discovered their second child would be a girl.

Andy and Autumn Freeman, from Michigan in the US, posted a compilation of videos from their first and second gender reveals with the first video showing the couple popping a balloon filled with pink confetti, indicating a girl.

“Oh my god, I’m so excited,” Autumn can be seen saying after jumping into her Andy’s arms.

The couple had two very different reactions to finding out the gender of their babies. Picture: Tik Tok / audi_elise

In the second video, Autumn presents Andy with a party popper while asking him what he thinks the gender will be.

“I think it’s a boy,” he says.

“Okay - I think it is a girl but I want a boy,” she replies.

When the confetti is pink - indicating another girl - the couple are visibly disappointed.

“Oh shit,” Andy says.

“I’m actually sad,” Autumn says.

Autumn told news.com.au she had never heard of the term gender disappointment before her experience.

The Michigan couple posted a gender reveal which sparked fierce debate online. Picture: Instagram / audi_elise

Andy and Autumn Freeman believe women should not feel guilt or shame for feeling disappointed in the gender of their baby. Picture: Instagram / audi_elise

“I have heard of people either wishing to have a boy or girl however I didn’t know specifically about gender disappointment.

“When I found out I was having a girl I did tell one of my friends I was hoping for a boy.

“She told me she had experienced the same feeling but the opposite way,” Autumn told news.com.au.

A couple defends feeling disappointed with their future baby's gender. Picture: Tik Tok / audi_elise

The social media response to the video was not kind.

“Oh no!! A healthy baby girl,” one sarcastic comment read.

“If I found a video like this of my parents they’re going to the retirement home,” another read.

Other comments urged the couple to think of the child’s feelings in the future.

“She can show this to her therapist in 20 years.”

Other commenters agreed that “gender disappointment” was a real issue for parents.

“I don’t think people realise it is 100 per cent okay to have gender disappointment it’s draining, you want something so bad it just starts to feel like it will never be a reality,” said one sympathetic commenter.

Another parent commented that the children are not “any less loved”.

“I’ve had gender disappointment three times now, it’s awful to deal with and get shamed for,” she commented.

“Exactly! Nobody should be shamed for these feelings,” Autumn replied.

The couple then posted a video with a trigger warning for gender disappointment.

The couple posted another video defending the reaction. Picture: Tik Tok / audi_elise

The video outlined the “10 things” gender disappointment “doesn’t mean”.

Text on the video said people experiencing gender disappointment were not bad parents, they would not treat their child any differently and are not ungrateful.

The replies to this video were more empathetic to the issue.

“I wouldn’t trade my boy for the world but I sobbed when I found out. God knew I needed my little boy,” one comment read.

“After my third girl in a row I spiralled for a good three weeks when we found out the next baby was yet another girl,” said another mother.

Autumn has two “bonus children”, a 12-year-old girl and 8-year-old boy as well as her own bio two-year-old girl with another baby girl on the way. Picture: Instagram / audi_elise

Autumn Freeman was hoping her second child would be a boy. Picture: Instagram / audi_elise

The Centre for Perinatal Excellence says feeling disappointed about the sex of a baby is common and nothing to be ashamed about.

The disappointment can stem for a variety of reasons including internally longing to have a particular gender, family pressures to have a particular gender, already having several children of that gender or a feeling of concern that a parent would not relate to a child of the opposite sex.

COPE says acceptance and reflection of the feelings of grief and disappointment is important.

“Experiencing gender disappointment does not mean that you will not love, or be able to love your baby. In fact, these feelings often disappear after the baby is born as your mothering instincts kick in,” the COPE website reads.

Autumn told news.com.au gender disappointment “should be talked about”.

“A lot of women are made to feel guilty and shame for wanting one or the other,” she said.