My hubby crossed the line with our surrogate

A woman has questioned her husband for focusing all of his attention on their surrogate.

A woman has asked if she was in the wrong to call out her husband for crossing the line with their surrogate after he bought her a car.

It can be an extremely complicated minefield not only to choose to be a surrogate, and also to trust one to bring your baby into the world when you’re unable to do so yourself.

While it’s important to have a contract in place and a solid plan for all the possible scenarios, you can’t always predict what’s going to go down.

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The mum-to-be and her husband, Hunter, were suffering from fertility problems so they decided to get a surrogate. The surrogate is a friend of a friend. Picture: iStock

‘We recently decided to get a surrogate’

A mum-to-be has posted to Reddit after she began noticing some strange behaviour from her husband.

“Me and my husband Hunter suffered from fertility problems, we recently decided to get a surrogate who’s a friend of a friend,” the woman explained in her post.

She went on to say that they have a contract between themselves and the surrogate, and she has so far kept her end of the deal. She’s “respectful and kind” and is currently carrying the couple’s baby, which was conceived via the OP’s own egg.

The surrogate has recently reached out to the woman as she’s become uncomfortable with some of the things her husband has done.

A woman has called her husband out for buying a car for their surrogate. Picture: iStock

‘She complained to me’

“I’ve noticed that he’s been focusing his all attention on our surrogate like skipping work to visit her or get her things she didn’t ask for,” she continued.

“He chats with her all the time on social media and also constantly offers to do things for her like... drive her places and sometimes even invite her out or offer to repair stuff for her.

“She complained to me about this and even told me about things he’s been doing that I didn’t even know about, like bringing her gifts.”

The woman tried to reason with her husband but he accused her of being jealous of the woman carrying their baby. When she told him it was the surrogate that had complained, he didn’t believe her. And recently, it all blew up.

“Our surrogate called me saying that Hunter came over and told her guests to leave,” the woman wrote.

The surrogate declined the car and asked the woman's husband to leave. Picture: iStock

“I asked why and she said that he wanted to show her the 9k car he bought for her.

“I was shocked, she said she declined the car and asked him to leave but he started arguing with her about using public transportation and risking our baby’s wellbeing.”

The woman said she was “fuming” and she called her husband and demanded he returns home instantly. A fight ensued where the woman told her husband he was being “overstepping, disrespectful, and inappropriate” towards the surrogate. In response, the man said his only motivation was to ensure their baby’s safety.

“I told him to stop disrespecting the woman and stop using the baby as an excuse to stomp all over her boundaries,” she said, adding, “He even accused me of not loving our son as much he does”.

Reddit users commented that the husband’s behaviour was ‘upsetting’. Picture: iStock

“This is upsetting behaviour”

Most people on Reddit agreed there were some pretty big red flags here.

“This is upsetting behaviour,” commented one person. “It’s one of two things: He has a crush on her, or: He thinks he has a right to police pregnant women’s bodies.”

Another added, “The sad thing is he didn’t start to stomp boundaries until after the baby existed. Now OP has to deal with a controlling, boundary-stomping husband who literally asked if she’s jealous of a surrogate. As the couple had fertility issues, this is especially heinous.”

“This is a marriage issue and an a**hole husband issue,” chimed in a third. “This isn’t for the surrogate to fix. Honestly, I would worry that putting that stress and pressure on her would make her reconsider the whole surrogacy process.”

This article originally appeared on Kidspot and was reproduced with permission