Parents have been lying to their children since the dawn of time

‘THE ice cream van plays music to let you know it has run out of ice cream’, and other great lies your parents told you.

While not the healthiest of habits, you will not combust if you smoke a cigarette. Pic: AFP

WE get it, children are hard to control and parents need to resort to ‘creative’ stories to aid in the process.

But what we don’t condone is allowing your children to believe said creative stories for longer than is strictly necessary.

Here are a few parental lies, that aside from traumatising the children, were believed for slightly longer than many would care to admit.

What lies did you parents tell you? Leave a comment below.

Monty

“If I smoked a cigarette I would literally burn.”

While not the healthiest of habits, you will not combust if you smoke a cigarette. Pic: AFP

Elise

“I can’t go under the house, not because it is dangerous, but there is a crocodile under it — I was sceptical but wouldn’t go near it ‘just in case’

To be fair, who really knows what’s under the house? Picture: Zak Simmonds

Angela

“Don’t eat watermelon seeds, watermelon will grow in your stomach!”

There is no garden in your belly, we repeat there is no garden in your belly.

Elias

“If you play with fire you will wet your bed at night.”

Well that’s one way to combat pyromania.

Jacquie

“Cockroaches are attracted to the posters on your wall, I therefore took all my posters down. Tough childhood man.”

Unless the poster is covered in food, we doubt the validity of this lie.

Patrick

“When you eat crust your hair goes curly. now I’m bald.”

If crust made your hair curly think of the money that could be saved on getting a perm?

Ian

“Eels in the creek near my Nanna’s house would bite off my willy if I went in there.”

Lifelong fear of eels. Done. Thanks Nanna.

Finally the author will share her own experience.

Rashell

“If you get glitter in your eye you will go blind, my sisters and I had a glitterless childhood.”

The glitter lie has been ruining childhood since 1984.

So parents the moral of the story is not to stop making up creative stories, but remember to come clean some time later, or your children will fear glitter late into their teens.