‘My bookends have gone’: Lisa Curry on losing her daughter and mother

Olympian Lisa Curry has revealed the pain of losing her beloved mother while still grieving for her daughter Jaimi, in an emotional interview today.

Lisa Curry has spoken of the pain of losing her beloved daughter and mother, in a frank and moving interview.

The much-loved Olympian and Commonwealth Games swimming champion addressed the painful subject through tears in a conversation with Stellar magazine.

“My bookends have gone,’’ she says of the loss of two of her most precious people.

A dark cloud descended on Curry on September 14, 2020, when her daughter Jaimi died, after spending her entire adult life battling mental illness, self-harm, eating disorders and alcohol abuse.

Lisa Curry with daughter Jaimi. Picture: Instagram.

She was just 33, but had spent her final years in and out of hospital, supported through those awful times by her mother and father, Ironman legend Grant Kenny, and her siblings Morgan Gruell and Jett Kenny.

The death, 18 months later, of Curry’s own mother Pat reopened the emotional wounds and let the hurt and grief come flooding back in.

“Every time I’m in the car their photos come up on the screen, my favourites who I would ring all the time,” Curry told Stellar.

“I get in the car and think I’ll ring Mum … oh hang on, Mum isn’t there anymore. It was a habit, a daily routine when I got in the car to drive to the coast, that’s when I would ring Mum. And before that it used to be when I would ring Jaimi.’’

Family love ... Lisa Curry, Grant Kenny and their children (l-r) Morgan, Jett and Jaimi. Picture: Facebook

Curry, 59, has spent the past year writing her autobiography, beginning it when memories of the death of her daughter Jaimi were so raw, she couldn’t say her name without breaking down.

Lisa: A memoir – 60 years of life, love & loss, which comes out on Monday, is about far more than bereavement – it covers the many extraordinary achievements and highs, plus occasional failures, of Curry’s varied life and career moves as one of Australia’s best-known identities.

There are moments of humour, never-before-told news hooks – such as yesterday’s revelation that Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin was named Australian of the Year then had it taken away at the 11th hour – and strong messages of hope, motivation and perseverance in the face of challenges.

Lisa Curry, pictured with Jaimi, wants to help others in a similar situation. Picture: Lisa Curry/Instagram

Curry told Stellar the process of having to relive painful memories has been difficult, and she worries people will think she is over-sharing.

“I had to keep reminding myself that Jaimi said to me on many occasions that she wanted to write a book to help people get through what she was going through,’’ she said.

Curry has said she wants to help start a conversation about mental illness, and let people going through similar ordeals know they are not alone.

An edited extract from the book, published today with Stellar in The Sunday Telegraph and other News Corp newspapers, shows examples of its breadth.

Lisa Curry at the Commonwealth Games where she won gold, became ‘royalty’ and met her future husband Grant.

Starting with Curry’s stunning success at the Brisbane Commonwealth Games in 1982, which had her crowned swimming royalty, it discusses her brushes with real royalty – including an amusing encounter with Princess Diana when Curry gave her “some white plastic earrings shaped like Australia … geeeezzzz what was I thinking?”

The swimmer adds: “She said kindly, ‘Oh, I’ve been looking for a pair of these everywhere, thank you.’ (Or perhaps it was sarcasm.)”

The same extract also tells how she first met Grant Kenny at those same games, quipping to a friend: “I’m going to marry that guy”.

It then covers how she reconciled herself to the disappointment of not winning a medal in her Olympics comeback at age 30, meeting her second husband Mark Tabone in amusing circumstances – while he was performing as an Elvis impersonator – before confronting the pain of losing Jaimi, with a raw and emotional account of her final hours in hospital and where its aftermath left Curry.

Lisa Curry with Jaimi and second husband Mark Tabone. Picture: Instagram

She describes rushing to be with her unconscious daughter in intensive care; a doctor telling her in a matter-of-fact tone, “Jaimi will die tonight”; and how although she had known this moment was coming for years, there was no way to be ready for it.

Curry also reveals the crushing moment when Jaimi first told her “Mum, I actually don’t want to live”.

“You don’t know what life’s going to throw at you, you don’t know what’s going to happen, so spend time with the people you love,” Curry writes at the end of the extract. “Get off the phone, get home from work earlier, be with the people that you love the most, because you don’t know what’s in your future.”

Lisa: A memoir – 60 years of life, love & loss by Lisa Curry with Ellen Whinnett will be published by HarperCollins on 2 May 2022 and is available for pre-order from Booktopia now.

Lisa Curry’s book, Lisa: A memoir - 60 years of life, love and loss.