Mum of Joshua Taylor, who killed himself after being bullied, asks where's the justice for my beautiful boy?

JOSHUA Taylor was just 14 but he killed himself after being bullied to breaking point. His mother, Cherie, shares her story in the hope it will prevent another tragedy.

Joshua Taylor - known as Josh - who killed himself after being bullied. Picture: Che...

SCHOOL returned this week but for some children it will be a frightening experience. An astonishing 160,000 kids miss school daily in Australia because of the impacts of bullying.

Suicide is the leading cause of death for young Australians with over 300 people between the ages of 14-24 years taking their own lives in 2012.

Many of the dead were victims of bullying before they took their fateful decision.

Joshua Taylor will be among the statistics for 2013. His mother Cherie Taylor shares her story in the hope it may prevent another tragedy.

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JOSH had not long turned 14.

He was a bubbly, happy mischievous boy who was also very talented.

He could drive bobcats, excavators, trucks, bulldozers, steam rollers - anything.

He could weld, grind, cut and drill.

He was very hands on and full of life.

Towards the middle of Grade 8 when he had to start catching the school bus, he changed from this boy who loved going out to be a very withdrawn boy who wanted to stay home.

He went from a boy who would wake up at 6am to a boy who wouldn't get up until lunch time.

I spoke to other parents and they all insisted it's a teenage phase they go through, so I left it at that.

What I didn't realise was Josh was withdrawing from all of society as he was suffering a deep depression from being bullied.

We noticed Josh had stolen a lot of money from us, $200 and $400 at a time.

Sometimes we didn't even have the grocery money.

We asked Josh if he was taking the money and he admitted he was.

He cried and said he was so sorry and it wouldn't happen again.

We always taught our kids if they tell the truth there will be less consequences.

Anyway, money was still going missing, and other things like all his personal possessions.

It was getting hard not to be angry.

So we had a big talk to Josh and his headmaster, as Josh was caught with $500 on him at school.

Both the headmaster and I were shocked about Josh's thieving as this wasn't his nature.

He was a very quiet, loving boy who would stick up for his mates and girls that got bullied.

He was loyal. But where were his protectors?

Nowhere.

Josh told us and the headmaster he was getting bullied and forced to steal money by the kids on the bus from two different schools.

I'd had enough and pulled Josh out of school for a while.

He was helping me at home with fencing and feeding animals and mowing and things as there was 13 acres to look after.

It was great we bonded as we weren't that close before. His dad Alan was his idol.

So we formed this beautiful bond, and Josh's sister Candy kept it secret and so did I from Alan.

Josh was home with me.

I had his school uniform set up in the stables bathroom and he would get changed at 3pm and go hide in the drain out the front.

When Candy would hop off the bus Josh would join her.

And they'd walk in together like they'd been at school together all day.

It worked great.

I told the school Alan had changed his number so don't ring him anymore. That way he wouldn't be notified every time Josh was absent.

I would ring and tell them he's sick or depressed or something - little did I know I wasn't lying, he really was depressed.

Anyway, one horrible day after Josh had been absent a couple of months and I couldn't keep getting doctors certificates for him, the gig was up when they took a chance and rang Alan's number.

He answered, shocked with what he had heard that Josh hadn't been at school for a couple of months.

He came home raging mad, saying we had been threatened with welfare if Josh didn't return to school immediately.

We had a meeting with four women who couldn't give a shit about Joshy getting bullied and being scared for his life going back to school.

All they said was: "you can send him to another school".

Well I don't drive so I had to go where the buses were.

Basically they didn't want Josh to stay. They had all these pamphlets ready for Josh to go to another school which also has a bad reputation.

And I had no money for new uniforms anyway.

So I begged Josh to stick it out for just 15 months then I would have a job for him with the council as they were super-impressed with his machinery operating skills and knowledge.

He seemed happy to do that and went back to school that Monday.

He came back happy and said: "Oh, mum it wasn't so bad, it was good actually".

I was over the moon but then something happened during "Anti-Bullying Week" and he lost it.

One week back at school and my Josh was dead.

Hanging from a tree in our back yard beside the stables, covered in vomit.

Alan found him and ran to the shed for a knife.

He cut him down but his face and lips were blue.

He started CPR … nothing.

I will never forget the words Alan yelled at me through the back door which was a fair way from the stables. He yelled: "Quick, quick call an ambulance, Josh has hung himself. I think it's too late".

Suddenly I was dizzy, blacking out and unable to breathe properly with shock.

Oh my God ... my son, now not my son ... this can't be happening.

I held it together, picked myself up and ran over to where Josh was.

A friend stopped me. "He's OK, right ... it's all a joke right?'

I could tell by her face and my little girl's face it wasn't good.

Again I collapsed and had a full on asthma attack.

I wanted to die. I didn't want to live without him but I saw Candy's little face and knew I had to live for her.

I could hardly breathe but had to try to stay alive as no one could work on me, they had to help Josh.

An ambulance officer noticed I was having a panic attack and immediately assisted me as by then there were six ambulance people and a coroner.

I was getting oxygen at last and Josh had a pulse ... he had a pulse. I thought my nightmare was over but it had only just begun.

Me and Josh were admitted to hospital.

They worked on me for a few hours until I was stable enough to see my son.

I was so excited he was alive he had a pulse ... I had a second chance.

I went in to see my wonderful boy all strapped up to more hoses, pipes, machines and more needles than I'd ever seen.

My beautiful boy was on life support.

He couldn't breathe without the machine.

I stayed by his side night and day.

He was in a coma and so cold to touch, but I hardly left his side.

I talked to him, I sang to him. I prayed and read him stories.

The doctor said he would do all he could and didn't know if he would live due to brain damage.

On the second day Josh started to move; little movements of his neck and shoulders.

I told the nurse: "he's waking up" and the nurse was excited too.

She called the doctor in.

He didn't seem so excited.

Instead, he hooked his head up to a heap of wires and when the results came through it was showing Josh wasn't waking up - he was having seizures.

His brain was swelling.

He died again then and I had another attack. They got the paddles out and took me away.

He came back; thank God, he was a fighter.

The third day Josh was put in a machine to test his brain activity.

The doctor said Josh was 97 per cent brain dead.

The doctor asked me to take him off life support and he would go peacefully in three hours.

I'm like: "No, no way". I was like waiting for that miracle.

Then they had trouble keeping his blood pressure up.

So the doctor called an urgent family meeting and said: "I'm so sorry. Josh is going to die. He has about three hours. All the family need to say goodbye now."

I ran to his room and begged him to come back to me. I was only able to cope as they dosed me up on Valium.

I was grabbing his hand. "Don't do this Josh. You have to come back to me...come back to me."

His blood pressure went from 100 to 10 and in minutes he was dead.

Not all the family made it in time.

My heart skipped a beat. My darling was gone. I felt empty, lost and part of me died with him.

I'm not the same person I used to be

I am cold and hard and have little care about anything/anyone.

We are financially affected.

My marriage has been hit.

I'm kind of a hermit who stays home, doesn't go anywhere where I used to go with Josh.

I cry, I cry to sad songs. I cry to Pink Floyd as that was Josh's favourite band.

I cry every morning I wake up and realise once again it's another day without my boy.

I cry knowing there was no justice for Josh.

For help please contact: Lifeline (13 11 14), Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800), Compassionate Friends SA ( compassionatefriendssa.org.au), Headspace (1800 650 890), and SuicideLine (1300 651 251).

Teen Support Network is a South Australian based anti-bullying organisation founded by Urrbrae high school student Billy Russell. The website is at www.teensupportnetwork.org where there is a forum and a Facebook page for people to share their stories.