Shopping centre Santa unleashes on the ‘worst’ thing parents do

A shopping centre Santa has let rip about the worst thing parents do – and it’s guaranteed almost every parent does it.

Mall Father Christmas reveals worst thing parents do. Picture: Unsplash

Rick worked as a shopping mall Santa in Victoria and the reality is not a Christmas fairytale. He shares his experience in his own words:

As an eternally aspiring actor who never quite made it in the profession, a few years ago when I saw an ad for a gig as the local shopping centre Santa, well I thought it would be fun.

The job was $60 an hour plus super and I thought it might be an easy way to make a bit of extra cash for the holiday season. So, I applied and a few weeks later I was trying on the Big Man’s red suit in preparation for my most memorable role to date.

I’d love to share jolly stories of Christmases past but the reality was, it was the worst job I’ve ever had.

From the first day that I became Santa, which also happened to be at the end of a stinking hot week, even the airconditioned shopping centre I worked in felt warm.

So, as I sat in my impressive-looking, yet remarkably uncomfortable chair to start my shift, I was already sweating inside the unbreathable velour Santa suit and hat.

This very quickly became evident to others as sweat ran down my face, with me and my elves wiping it away with whatever they could find.

But in the scheme of things the heat was a walk in the park. It was the customers, that made my Santa experience less like a Christmas feel-good film and more like a scene from A Christmas Horror Story.

Working as a shopping mall Santa is not like being in a Christmas film. Picture: Unsplash

The most annoying part about the job was the adults. From the parents who demanded extra photos on their mobile phones despite the huge line waiting behind them or asked to take longer to get the ‘perfect shot.’

But the worst parents were those who forced their kids to take a photograph with me despite being clearly afraid and often hysterically crying.

With the older kids, although some were on their best behaviour, there were others who wanted to test my authenticity. I had countless boys and girls not only try to pull off my beard but also my wig as well.

I even had a couple poke me in the tummy to try and work out if my belly was real or if there was padding and, on that front, it was very much the real deal and so quite painful.

There were also children who got angry about me being the ‘fake Santa’ and told me exactly how they felt. I was yelled at by some and told I was a liar as well.

Other kids, although not badly behaved, they didn’t always have the best manners. I had loads of kids pick their noses while sitting on my lap, sometimes even donating to me their boogers, while others would fart away while telling me their wish list.

Kids would often pull on Rick’s beard and parents would demand extra time for photos. Picture: Unsplash

But these days Santa’s guests don’t just include kids. I was also visited by many adults and their pets too. Of course, they peed. They peed on the fake snow, lifted their leg and peed on my seat on my boots (easily wipeable) and on my lap (this was not so easy to clean up).

Then there were yappy dogs who you were never quite sure whether might turn around and snap your finger off. Plus, many other dogs who like me by this point clearly did not want to be there and would bark or try and run away at every opportunity.

Getting the photos in these cases usually took a long time and definitely tested my patience.

And sometimes it was adults who came to see me without their kids that were the most poorly behaved of all. The number of 50-year-old women (and some men too), I had whisper sexual fantasies or proposition me while sitting on my lap, well let’s just say it wasn’t one or two.

Needless to say, when Christmas Eve was gone, so was I.

Shona Hendley is a freelance writer.