It’s time to put a stop to the bulls**t mother ads!

EM RUSCIANO has had enough of Australian ads. She finds them outdated and says it’s time the ad execs had a good hard look at themselves.

IF ADVERTISING is to be believed there are only two types of mothers: deranged and stressed or polished and organised.

I don’t know about you but I swing aggressively between the two and everything in between several times a week. In all honesty, I find the way mothers are portrayed in the media inaccurate and rather patronising.

I’ve had it with the outdated gender dynamics, the inference that we only derive joy from servicing our families and the white, starched, buttoned to the eyeballs shirts the women who are supposed to represent me wear.

I don’t identify with or relate to any of the mothers I see in advertising, do you?

It’s all a bit white ... do you identify with the mother in this Chux ad?

Have you noticed that the ladies in the ads without kids seem to be waaaay sexier, more carefree and happier than those with children are? Why is that? Just because I’ve spawned doesn’t mean I’ve tucked away my fun pants.

Just because I may or may not be able to bounce on a trampoline with confidence, sneeze with bravery or wear a top without a bra (I mean if I tuck them under my armpits I could be in business) doesn’t mean I can’t be silky haired, hot bodied and strutting down a street to a sassy tune.

I also haven’t lost my sense of humour and suddenly become a delicate prude in need of protecting. I have fun with my children as well. It is not a life of drudgery and survival as some advertisers would have you believe. I laugh most when I am with those two adorable jerks.

Same company, different type of mum. The ‘stressed and deranged’ mother from Chux.

Mothers and motherhood need an image overhaul. As a collective we need to hire a kick arse PR firm run by snippy, efficient, well dressed people who won’t take no for an answer. We need someone to tell the advertising and marketing agencies that it’s not 1940 anymore and that there is life for us beyond our homes.

Mothers have been known to watch porn, read, study, dance on podiums, slam shots, listen to music, have sex, masturbate, laugh, cry, sing, travel, conquer and that’s only last Saturday night, am I right ladies?!

My point is, there are MANY other things that go on for us, things that have nothing to do with looking after our families. You know that, I know that, so why can’t they figure it out?

Don’t EVEN try to throw your “we’ve done research and this is what ladies want to see” bullshit at me. What research?! I’ve never been asked, have you?!

For a long time I felt like an outcast to the “mothering world” because I don’t own Tupperware or believe in ironing. Because I am not like those women on the Brand Smart commercials curled up on their impractical beige leather couches, stroking their creepy kids heads, talking about washing powder.

Then I started doing stand-up about my reality as a mother, writing words about it and having conversations via my social media platforms and now I know that there are PLENTY of other women like me.

Women that don’t necessarily define themselves as “just a mother”, ladies who have MANY other facets to their personalities that shouldn’t be ignored. I’ve met them at my shows, read their comments on my Facebook page and seen them befriend each other. It has all been pretty glorious to be honest. I’m not saying ALL mothers are like this either, just that some are and we’re not represented in the ads for the products we buy.

Please stop short changing mums, enough with the two dimensional, portrayal of us in the media. Most of us are not delicate, sensitive flowers in need of our families love and approval. We are f***ing warriors who deserve better than the guilt inducing representation of motherhood we are currently being fed.

If you want to sell me a car, don’t show me how easily my children can fit their crap into it. Show me how I can lock myself in it at night, never leaving the driveway. I’ve a large glass of red in my hand that WILL FIT into your cup holders, your sound system will be on display as I turn Beyonce up to an offensive level and then it will morph into my own video clip with fabulous backing dancers and soft flattering light. I want high, perky tits (not on display because I am not an object) a fierce outfit and maybe my tool kit in the back because I can fix shit too!

You’re welcome ad executives, NOW DO BETTER.

If you want Em to buy a car, this IS NOT the way to do it.